Once alone, she holds his undamaged hand. Has she ever seen him this still before? Even in sleep he’s constantly turning, groaning, shifting. The lack of movement scares her.
‘It’s me, Scott. Heather,’ she says. ‘I know you want nothing to do with me, but I told Brianna I’d come. She’s got her last exam in,’ she checks her watch, ‘about fifteen minutes. She’s thinking of you. Terrified, really. We all are.’ Heather stares at the rows of monitors surrounding Scott’s bed before continuing. ‘I made her go to the exam. I knew it’s what you’d want, even though she desperately wanted to see you instead.’ Heather gulps. Had her intuition been right? Was Brianna now sitting in an exam hall staring redundantly at a blank paper and regretting her decision? ‘I only hope she’s able to focus.’
Heather’s heart had broken listening to Brianna’s sobs as she went back and forth over the decision, questioning whether doing the exam was repeating her dad’s mistake of putting work and career before family.
Heather returns her gaze to Scott’s battered face. It’s disconcerting, making admissions like this to a person who gives no reaction at all, but the nurse had assured her he could hear what’s going on around him. ‘But what do I say?’ she’d asked.
‘Anything.’
Heather starts with the first thing on her mind.
‘I was so mad at you, Scott,’ she says. ‘The way you treated me when Brianna crashed the car. You acted as though I was the problem, when we all know that you had some responsibility for the incident – or how it played out, anyway.’
She leans over and kisses the one area of his cheek unadorned by adhesive hospital tape or bits of machinery.
‘I know what you’re thinking,’ she continues. ‘You’re thinking I’ve got my own problems. And that’s true to an extent. But I’ve changed. I’m no longer afraid of abandonment. I know I can cope on my own now.’
She pauses as she assimilates this fact she hasn’t consciously acknowledged herself.
‘Georgia’s thriving. Who’d have thought it? She’s asked about her dad. That’s something I can thank you for. I’d never have offered if I hadn’t experienced Brianna’s quest for the truth. Anyway, we constructed an email together last week, and he replied last night, saying he’d love to meet. She’s going to be so excited when I tell her. She and Brianna have applied to do Camp America together over the summer, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to see him then.’
A quick glance at her watch confirms both girls will be in exam halls right now.
‘I hope they do alright in their exams. If nothing else, just to prove you and your prophecy wrong.’ She squeezes his hand to emphasise the jest in her voice. It feels like a lifetime ago when she first encountered Scott online. It’s only eight months. She reflects on the roller coaster ride those eight months have been. Their passionate affair; her wild swimming; Thanksgiving and Christmas with the kids; her new business; reconciling with her parents; the girls' first attempts at independence – some of which haven’t gone to plan. She thinks of the mercy missions to St Andrews and Dundee after the spiking incident; the second year accommodation debacle; and Todd’s unceremonious dumping of her daughter. They’ve packed a lot in, the four of them.
As she reflects, Heather is struck by a clarity and a certainty that she has never felt in her life.
‘The thing is, I can be alone. I can cope. I can thrive. I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been. I just don’t want to be on my own. Not now I know you. Because Scott-Bloody-Reynolds, you drive me mad. Utterly, infuriatingly mad. I know what you’ve said in the past. That letting people close leads to devastation, and yes, that can be true. But it only leads to devastation if lots of living and loving have been done beforehand. And that’s whatI want to do with you. Living. Trying it out, seeing where it takes us.’
‘Because I love you, Scott. I do. Wholeheartedly. If you’ll have me, I choose to be with you. To take the risk. To be open about us to our family and friends. So, if you ever feel able to wrestle your demons into shape, I’ll be here, because I know what I want in life. And it’s you.’
Heather places a tender kiss on his hand and bends to pick up her bag.
‘Oh. And one last thing. Lorraine says that Lucy would not hold you to that promise. Not sure what it means, exactly, but that’s what she said.’
Heather stays until the early evening by which time Brianna, her final exam completed, arrives teary-eyed and pale at the hospital, hugs her aunt and takes over the bedside vigil.
It’s up to Scott now.
SCOTT
The bad thing about four days in hospital with concussion and broken limbs is you’re not able to leave. Not when people visit. Or mediators come. Or your daughter and sister-in-law force a conversation.
The first thing Scott sees when he wakes is Brianna’s tear-stained face gradually taking focus.
‘Bee.’ He can’t seem to wrap his mouth around her whole name, but the first consonant is enough to illicit a weak smile.
‘Hiya, Dad.’ She bends over to kiss his cheek. He hopes he doesn’t stink too badly. There’s something about the sensation in the lower half of his body, a slight stickiness, which makes him question whether he pissed himself. Probably. His righthand and arm appear to be immobile, and his head hurts like fuck. His thoughts are thick fog.
‘I’m not too sure—’
‘You had an accident, Dad. You fell down the pub stairs and landed on your head.’
He understands the words individually, but not much of the actual event is familiar. He does have some recollection of what triggered his response to run.
Leon is out.
Perhaps he’s more transparent than he thought, because it’s as though Brianna can read his mind.
