I stare at the unread message notifications on my phone.The same ones that woke me up in the middle of the night, despite the device being silent.It must have been the screen lighting up over and over.
Zander.
I’m so mad at him still, but drunk Zander is playful and cheeky, and I’m trying hard not to eagerly open them.
That argument would be more believable if I wasn’t the second man you’d fucked since leaving your husband.
Ouch.
The insinuation behind it was very unkind, and I cannot believe he essentially called me a slut.
I stormed out of his office but have wanted to march back in there a dozen times to give him another piece of my mind.
I will take you up on your offer.Get me a new attorney.
Yet again, he hasn’t done that, and neither have I pushed.My emotions are all over the show since that horrible day.
Zander thinks he knows who I am.He has from the start treating me like I’m some gold digger and now...a loose woman.
How dare he.
Yes, I grew up poor, and he can paint that picture how he likes, but I fell for Adam, and part of that was the sense of security he gave me, not because I wanted to go shopping in Beverly Hills for ten years.Or whatever he thinks women likethatdo.
I’m not one of them.
I wanted to get a college degree and try my hand at starting a business.I wanted to be a mom.I wanted...
Sadness fills my chest, creating an ache.
Being accused of being pregnant when youcan’thave a child is probably the worst thing in the world.Well, not really, but it still feels horrible.
I am carrying this alone.
While also waiting for this divorce to go through.My marriage to Adam has been so different from what I imagined.I refused to marry a man like my father, who was abusive, broke, and unreliable, but it turns out the jokes on me; Adam was two of those things.
What caused him to be so cruel?
Surely his parents' desire to be grandparents wouldn’t make him suddenly become a violent husband, and yet it appears that it did.
His patience ran out.
In my private moments of despair, I’m heard a tiny whisper that says,but you left.I didn’t really know what that meant, but the voice has got louder, and finally, as I stormed out of Zander’s office last week, I realized, I’m not a woman who puts up with shit.
Sure, it's taken me a decade or more to become more powerful in my own right, but saying no to being attacked by Adam, saying no to Zander speaking to me the way he has—that’s being strong.
That’s being powerful.
That’s a woman well beyond what my mother has been, not turning to drugs or alcohol but seeing her worth.And more so every day.
I don’t yet have a degree, but I will.
I may not be able to have children, but perhaps I’ll find a cause with little kids who need help and contribute both time and money.
Unlike any other time in my life, I don’t need anyone to save me.
I saved myself.
And everything I’ve been through has taught me what love should look like.While trying to conceive, I saw other couples going through the same thing, and there was affection, support, and love from the husbands and partners.
