She goes still under my hands, rain dripping between us, and for a second I think I've said the wrong thing, moved too fast, asked for something she's not ready to give.
"Darren…"
"Let me finish.I know it's fast.I know we've only really known each other a few months, and most of that's been sitting at the bar while we talked, or dancing without any words.."I keep my hands steady on her hips, keep my eyes locked on hers even though the rain's making it hard to see clearly."But having you here, in my house, with Nicole, it's turned into something I don't want to give up once the danger's gone.I like waking up next to you.I like watching you with my daughter.I like coming home and knowing you're gonna be there."
"You barely know me outside of a crisis."Her voice wavers, and I can't tell if it's the cold or something else entirely."What if all of this just feels intense because of everything that's happened?What if it's not real once things go back to normal?"
"It's real, Mace."I say it without hesitating, because I've thought about this plenty over the last few days, turned it over in my head enough times to know I'm not just caught up in adrenaline."I’ve watched you with Nicole when you didn't think I was paying attention.I watched you laugh with Ella like you've known her your whole life.None of that's forced.None of that's because you're scared and looking for somewhere safe to be."
She's quiet for a second, rain running down both our faces, and I wait, because I need to know what's going on behind her eyes before I say anything else.
"I like being here."Her voice comes out smaller than I expect."I like waking up in your bed.I like making breakfast with Nicole while you get ready for work.I like all of it, Darren, more than I probably should this early."
"That's not early.That's just honest."
"It scares me."She looks down between us, water dripping off her lashes."I've cared about someone before, and it cost me.I don't know how to do this without wondering if I'm walking straight back into something that's gonna hurt me again.Granted that was years ago and it was my college boyfriend, but…"
"I'm not him."I tilt her chin back up, need her looking at me when I say this next part."I know that's not something I can just say and have you believe overnight.But I need you to know I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not gonna be the reason you're scared of anything ever again."
"I know you're not him."She reaches up, pressing her palm flat against my chest, right over my heart, which is pounding hard enough she's probably feeling every beat of it."That's the thing that scares me more.Because if you were like him, this would be easy.I'd know to run.But you're not, and I still find myself wanting to run sometimes, just out of habit, because caring about someone this much means there's more to lose if it goes wrong."
"So don't run."I cover her hand with mine, holding it there against my chest."Stay.See where this goes with me.I'm not asking you to promise forever tonight, standing out here soaked to the bone in a thunderstorm.I'm asking you to just keep choosing this, one day at a time, same as I'm gonna keep choosing you."
Her eyes fill up, and for a second I think she's about to cry, but instead she laughs, wet and a little broken, shaking her head like she can't quite believe this is happening to her."This is the least romantic place to have this conversation."
"I don't know, I think the rain adds some ambiance."
"You would."She wipes at her face, though it's useless with the rain still coming down around us."Okay, I want to stay.I care about you, Darren, and I care about Nicole.More than I expected to this fast, and it terrifies me, but I don't want to run from it either."
"Yeah?"Something in my chest loosens, relief flooding through me faster than the rain's soaking through my shirt.
"Yeah."She nods, more sure this time."I'm scared, but I'm willing.I want to see where this goes, with you, if you're ready for that too."
"I'm ready."I don't hesitate on that answer, not even for a second."I've been ready since you grabbed my hand outside the bar that first night and told me you weren't done dancing yet."
"I remember that."Her smile turns soft, rain still dripping off her chin."You looked terrified."
"I was terrified.Still kind of am, if I'm honest.But the good kind."I lean down, resting my forehead against hers, both of us drenched, thunder rolling somewhere off in the distance."The kind where you know exactly what you're risking, and you decide it's worth it regardless of how it’s going to end up."
"Worth it," she repeats, like she's testing the words out for herself.
"Worth it," I confirm, and then I kiss her again, slower this time, no rush behind it, just the knowledge that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be standing tonight, rain and all.
She kisses me back just as slow, hands sliding up into my wet hair, my hat long forgotten somewhere on the ground between us.When we finally break apart, she's breathless, laughing again, water running down both our faces like it's trying to wash away every ounce of doubt either of us walked out here carrying.
"We should probably go inside before we actually do get sick," she says, though she doesn't move to leave.
"Probably."I don't move either, keeping my arms wrapped around her waist, rain soaking straight through what's left of my dry clothes.
"Darren."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you.For saying all that.For meaning it."
"Always gonna mean it, Mace."I press one more kiss to her forehead, then finally step back, taking her hand in mine."C'mon.Let's get you inside before you catch a cold and blame me for it."
"Oh, I'm absolutely blaming you regardless."She laces her fingers through mine as we head back toward the porch, both of us soaked straight through, leaving wet footprints across the wood as we climb the steps."You're the one who insisted on dancing in a thunderstorm."
