"Which is understandable."He holds up a hand as if it will stop me from being angry."But you can't carry that with you.Just like the people we care about can't carry the irritation at how law enforcement are treated.It helps no one.So calm down, and let us do our jobs."
I hate the fact that I'm not the one out there on the streets.I want to be the person who makes this all better, the one she can count on.Right now I'm sitting here with my thumb up my ass, not able to do anything other than what I'm doing right now."Alright.This is hard for me."I run my hand through my hair in agitation.
"The first time you have to take a step back, because you're no longer on the PD is, I'm sure," Dad says, clapping his hand on my shoulder."But this is where you have to trust the men and women you've worked with for years.People know you, they'll treat her right."
I finally accept what he's telling me, and glance at the door."Do y'all have what you need?"
"For the pictures, yes."Dad's gaze meets mine."I still need to get her statement.Or do you want to bring her to the station tomorrow?"
I make a quick decision."I'll bring her down first thing in the morning."
Mom smiles, coming over to hug me."We'll get out of your hair, and leave you alone.Take care of her.She may seem fine now, but there will be a point where this hits her, and she'll realize that she could've been hurt much worse."
I'm painfully aware of that.I realized that about myself when I was a kid, before I got welcomed into this family."I know, and I wanna be there for her when that happens."
"If you need me to take Nicole, just let me know.We'll see you soon."
She disentangles herself from my arms, and then I lead them to the front door.It still takes a few minutes to get them out and walking toward their vehicle, but when I do, I shut the door with a sigh.I'm thankful for the family I was welcomed in to, but sometimes they are a lot.For a few moments, I allow myself to sag against the door, and then I pull myself up, and walk toward the bathroom.
The shower is still on, but I knock anyway."Macie, are you okay?"
She doesn't answer.I go back and forth on whether I should bother her.In the end, I decide that I need to make sure she's okay.What if she was hurt worse than she thought she was, and she's passed out in the water?How am I going to live with myself if something happens to her?That wins out over the fact that I might be making sure her modesty stays intact.
"I'm coming in," I say, giving her one more opportunity to tell me not to.
When she doesn't, I go in.Walking over to the shower, I slightly pull the curtain back, and that's when I see her.She's sitting in the shower, the water running over her body.Her front is faced away from me, so I can't see anything that she probably doesn't want me to.But I'm concerned, because she hasn't acknowledged the fact I've opened the shower curtain.Her knees are pulled up to her chest, and she's hunched over into herself.
"Macie."My voice is harder, more urgent, needing her to at least let me know she hears me."I'm getting really worried about you, and unless you want me to call an ambulance, let me know you can hear me."
She tilts her head to the side, turning so I can see her cheek.It's red, and there's wetness there that doesn't look like it's coming from the shower."I hear you."Her voice is flat and dull.This isn't the woman I've come to know the past couple of months.
"You're breaking my heart honey.Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Take me back to the beginning of this night?Before I could tell that guy there was a restraining order against him?Make it so that I didn't have to get involved with someone else's business.I should never have been put in that situation."
"No you're right, you shouldn't have been.But you were, and now we have to deal with it."
She turns back to the shower."What's thiswe?This happened to me."
Okay, now this is just pissing me off.Tilting my head up to look at the ceiling, I pray for patience that I don't usually have."It did happen to you, but you brought it to me, and if you didn't want my help?You wouldn't have showed up here.So yes, you took this from a you problem, to an us problem."
"Darren, I just want to be left alone."Her voice is so sad.
"Too damn bad.I'm worried about you sitting in the shower.Anything could happen.I'll wait until you're done."
"You don't have to do that," she argues.
Not listening, I go over to the toilet, put the lid down, and have a seat."I'm right here.No matter if it takes you five minutes, or five hours to get out of there.I'm going to be here when you decide you've gotten it together enough to trust yourself.Just accept it."
"Okay."
And for the first time since she showed up tonight, I let myself slightly relax.If she's willing to accept my help, then she knows I'm not going to leave her alone.With her?That's half the battle.
Chapter5
Macie
Idon't know for how long I'm in the shower.It feels like minutes, but could be hours.Every time I close my eyes, I see the guy coming toward me as I lay on the ground, curled into the fetal position.For a few seconds I hadn't known what he was going to do.It's like my body broke into three parts.In my mind I knew there were three options this man could do.
