I exchanged looks again with my cousins as we sat in the tasting room in the comfy booth.
“I’m really sorry to hear that about your dad and grandfather,” Gabrielle said slowly.“My father and husband were also alcoholics and abusive.”
Raina, Danica, and I all nodded.
“Ours too,” I said.
“So then why do you drink if alcoholism can be genetic?Aren’t you worried that you could become alcoholics?I’m constantly worried that my dad will.I hate that he’s off having a beer right now.”
Whoa.
“While I definitely think there is a genetic component to being more susceptible to addiction,” Gabrielle said gently.“I think a lot also has to do with strength of personality.And reason.My reasons fornotover-indulging in alcohol are numerous.I don’t like how I feel when I drink too much.So I know when to stop.I also don’t want to be incapacitated in the event my children need me.I also have no desire to put my children through what I went through as a child or a young married adult.It was horrible.And those are just some of my reasons, and why I have the strength to stop, and know when I have had enough.”
Danica, Raina, and I all nodded.
“I think your dad is the same, Mabel,” I replied.“He can enjoyonebeer and not finish a six-pack.He knows what it’s like to grow up with a parent who drinks too much; he’s not going to do that to you.He has a strong enough personality to know when to stop.”
“Yeah, I guess.”She met my gaze.“Did you know he went swimming today?In the ocean?”
“Yes, Austin told me that he did.I’m guessing you don’t approve?”
“He could’ve died.”
“Well …” Raina said.“I doubt it.”
“Jellyfish, sharks, rockfish, urchins, barnacles and sepsis, undertows.There are so many ways he could have died.”
I met my cousin’s gazes for the umpteenth time.
“Honey,” Danica started.“While all those thingsarepossible, the likelihood of them happening is low.You’ve probably done more math and harder math than any of us; I’m sure you can work out the probability of those things happening to your dad.And in Bumbo Bay, which is where they go when they’re at school, it’s really safe.No undertow or current; I doubt sharks or jellyfish go that shallow.”
“Yeah, but if he dies, then what?I go back to live in Florida with Dawn and Irv?Where Kyla can find me?”
I froze.My stomach jolted and all the muscles in my torso tightened, as if bracing for impact.
“Who is Kyla?”Gabrielle asked gently.
I shot my cousin a look, telling her to drop it.
“My birth-giver,” Mabel exclaimed.“She just got out on parole and now she’s wandering around Tallahassee, probably looking for me.And if my dad dies, then I’ll have to go back and then she’ll find me.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Gabrielle said, already in full matriarch-mode.“That’s not going to happen.”
Mabel stood up from the table abruptly.“How do you know?You don’t know anything about the situation.Anything about me, or my dad, or my family.”She turned to me.“You do.You know what Kyla did to him.Why I … why I even exist in the first place.She’s a monster.A pedophile, and if something happens to my dad, I’ll get shipped back to Dawn and Irv—who I love—but it’ll be in the same town as Kyla.”She shook her head, then started to rub her thumbs against her index and middle fingers, almost like she was trying to snap them.“What if she comes here?What if she petitions for visitation or custody?What if—?”
“Hey, hey, hey.Let’s not go there.”I got up and wrapped my arm around Mabel, but she brushed me off and stepped out of the booth.
“Don’t touch me.”
I lifted my hands in the air.“Sorry.No touching.”
“Do you want us to call your dad?”Raina asked.
Mabel shook her head.“No.He deserves a night with friends.He needs friends.”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind,” I said.
She shook her head again and blinked rapidly, staring straight ahead at the top of the table.“A-and now that stupid Island Mouth woman won’t leave us alone.We’re not safe anywhere.Not here, not there.Where can we go to be safe?”She glanced at me and my cousins, asking for answers.We had none.“Where people don’tneedto know us?Where we can be invisible?I just want to be invisible.”Grinding the heels of her palms into her eyes, she growled low in her throat for a moment, then tossed her hands into the air and started to pace.“I just want to watch birds and have nobody pay any attention to me.I just want to be … I just want to benot here!Not anywhere.”
