His nose scrunches as he looks me over. “But what if there’s a fire?”
My smile widens as I reach behind me and pull my phone out of my back pocket. “Well, if there’s a fire, the firefighters who are workingtoday will handle it, and if they need extra help”—I hold my phone up—“they’ll call me.”
That seems to satisfy his question. He turns toward his mom, and my gaze follows. She’s still sitting on the couch, her elbows braced on her knees as her chin rests in her palm. Her lips curl into a smile as our eyes meet.
I’m well aware that this outing, as nervous and excited as I am, is for her to see how I handle being around him. I can’t imagine how someone would have a problem getting along with a five-year-old, but at the same time, I’ve seen enough shit to know that not every adult has what it takes to be a parent.
“Can we go now?” Jake asks, dragging out the last word.
Tessa laughs as she stands and grabs her purse, a tan one she slings over her head and shoulder so that it sits diagonally across her torso, and crosses toward us. We step out onto the porch as she closes the front door and locks it. She keeps her keys in her hand and begins walking to her SUV, but something about her posture changes in the few seconds it takes to reach her driveway. Her steps slow, her shoulders stiffen, and her focus seems locked on the vehicle.
“Mind if I drive?” I ask, holding myself back from reaching out to grab her hand.
She glances over her shoulder at me, then looks down at Jake. “What do you think, buddy? Do you wanna ride in Logan’s truck?” she asks, a smile spreading across her face.
He pumps his little fist into the air. “Yes!” He seems genuinely excited to ride in my truck, which I was hoping for.
It can’t be too hard to switch over a booster seat, and I would much rather drive and be able to surprise them both with what I have planned for the day. But if she’s against it or uncomfortable in any way, then I will tell her my plans, and she can drive instead.
“Guess you’re driving,” she says, her eyes lifting to mine.
After transferring his booster seat to the backseat of my truck and making sure it’s secure, we all climb in. We only make it five minutes down the road before Jake asks where we are going, and she answers by telling him it’s a surprise for both of them.
I’m starting to second-guess the decision to take them to the zoo, but I don’t have time to change plans. I’ll figure something else out if my idea is a bust, because no matter how this goes, I’m determined to see nothing but smiles on both of their faces today.
Fuck.
Should I have gotten over the idea of surprising them and asked her if taking them to the zoo was alright? Once I settled on the idea, I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to look up what sort of things someone would need to bring with them if they were planning on a trip to the zoo with a small child. I’ve got snacks, water, and sunscreen. Thankfully, Tessa grabbed a hat and sunglasses for Jake before we left the house.
The drive to the zoo is thankfully not a long one, and as it turns out, it’s pretty easy to keep a kid entertained with silly jokes, music, and a few rounds of I Spy.
A loud gasp comes from the backseat as we pull into the parking lot. “Are we gonna see animals?” Jake exclaims, his face pressed to the window as if he’s going to be able to see them from here.
Tessa looks over at me, her lips momentarily parted in shock. “This isn’t at all what I was expecting.”
She doesn’t sound upset. At least, I don’t think she is.
Smiling, I shrug my shoulders. “I wanted to go somewhere he’d have fun. Is this okay?”
“Can we get out now? I want to see the monkeys!”
She laughs and undoes her seat belt, reaching for her door.
“Don’t.” I reach over and gently grasp her arm, and her hazel eyes flick in my direction. “Let me.”
Keeping my hands to myself and my words kid-appropriate is going to be a challenge, but I refuse to let her open her own door while we are together. If her son asks, I’ll tell him I’m a gentleman, and gentlemen open doors for people.
Once I’ve grabbed my backpack from the back seat and Tessa has applied a generous coat of sunscreen to Jake’s face, arms, and neck, we head for the entrance. I pay for the three of us, despite her protests and insistence that she can cover their tickets. Jake is damn near bouncing on the balls of his feet as we step through the gates, and I clap my hands together before I say, “Alright, now. Who wants to go see some animals?”
Chapter twenty
Tessa
OfallthethingsI thought we might do today, going to the zoo wasn’t even on the list of possibilities. I figured we would spend the day at the park with another picnic or maybe go to one of those family fun centers with an arcade and bowling alley. The trampoline park was even on the list. It’s the perfect place to let kids run wild while parents sit and relax. Plus, how cute would it be to watch the two of them play together like that? I don’t know yet if Logan is the type of man who will release his inner child when the time calls for it, but I would be willing to bet that he is.
The zoo, however, didn’t come close to making the list. I’ve wanted to bring Jake here for a while now. It’s one of the childhood adventures that I knew we would experience at some point, but I’ve been hesitant to mentally cross it off the list of things that Ryan has missed out on.
I don’t know if the thought will ever stop crossing my mind with each new milestone or experience. Just the other day, Jake brought home a few things from school and showed me where he wrote his name in the corner. It was sloppy and almost illegible, but he did it himself. The beaming smile across his face was contagious, but tears bloomed in my eyes as I watched him happily pick out a magnet to pin his art to the front of the refrigerator. As happy as I was, there was a sadness sittingjust beneath the surface. In that moment, Ryan was standing beside me with his arm wrapped around my shoulder as we watched our son, and for the briefest moment, I was at peace. I had to quickly wipe the tears away before he spun around.
