It hits me then that I’ve spent so much time at their house, I haven’t given much thought to whether they would want to be at mine. I figure it’s easier to end our days together at Tessa’s, where they’re most comfortable. The more time I spend with them, the less my place feels like home. It’s too quiet. It’s missing all of the things I’ve come to find comfort in, like the shoes piled by the front door. The few toys left scattered around after Jake got distracted and moved on to a different activity. The plastic cups with his favorite cartoon characters printed on them. The random Hot Wheels or LEGO pieces left on the table or crammed between the couch cushions.
And most importantly, it’s missing them.
“I only live here while I’m working; otherwise, I have my own house. But wanna know a secret?” I crouch down, putting myself at eye-level with him.
“What?” he whispers, leaning in close.
My gaze holds his, taking in the smattering of freckles across his nose and cheekbones, his blond hair and brown eyes. Tessa has framed photographs of her and Ryan together around their home, keeping the memory of him alive. I never had the privilege of meeting the man who loved Tessa and helped create this little boy who has stolen my heart, but I know that Jake is the spitting image of his father.
I thought it would be weird or make me uncomfortable to be in her home and be surrounded by remnants of the love she had before me, but it’s the opposite. There’s not a day that passes that I’m not thankful for the chance to love Tessa, but I also hate that she has experienced what it’s like to lose the person you love most in this world. It’s not a pain I would wish on anyone. Her husband was taken from this world way too soon, and if she wants to keep his memory alive, who am I to judge that? I haven’t told her how I feel about her yet, but what kind of man would I be if I didn’t want to do everything I possibly can to see the woman I love happy? Even if it means keeping photos up of her late husband.
Smiling, I cup my hand around my mouth and mock whisper, “Your house is my favorite place to be.” We're far enough away from the crew and our gathered friends and family for them not to hear my words among their chatter.
His eyes widen as he smiles. “Really? Why? You don't like your house?”
“I used to like it, but now that I have you and your momma, I'd rather be where you are.”
“Do you have to live in your own house?” he asks.
“What do you mean, bud?” My stomach swoops as my breath catches in my throat, and I suddenly feel like I’m teetering on the edge of a roller coaster’s drop, like any second now I could either roll back into the abyss or plummet toward my future. Time slows to a crawl as I wait for his response. Does he mean what I think he does? In the recesses of my mind, I know it’s a conversation I’ll need to have with Tessa. I’m not going to pack my bags and give up my house due to the whims of a five-year-old, but having his approval means more to me than I can explain.
“You’re always at our house. You should just stay with us.”
And just like that, my heart melts into a puddle beneath my feet.
He doesn’t wait for me to respond, turning and running off toward the large dining room table where everyone is beginning to gather.
Tess and my brother seem to have hit it off. They’re deep in conversation about a book series they’ve apparently both read. Cain’s fiancée, Alyssa, has taken over the kitchen and is shooing away anyone who tries to step in and help. The more she barks orders at him and the crew, the more his eyes soften toward her. Gray and Aaron, who is another one of the volunteers,showed up while I was giving Jake a tour and appear to be trying to start a game of cards. Their idea for poker quickly turns to go fish when Jake reaches for a stack of cards and asks to play.
This. This right here is what I’ve been searching for. A family—blood-related or not—that supports and looks out for one another. That will tell you when you’ve fucked up but also help you fix your mistakes. A family that’ll walk by your side in the dark until you’re able to find the light. That will care for one another, no questions asked. It’s everything I’ve been looking for and more.
And at the center of it all is the incredible woman I’m fucking head over heels in love with.
The firehouse is filled with smiles and laughter as Aaron and Kinsley try to pull everyone into various social media trends. The Heart of Hartridge town event we have been planning is coming up, and they’re insisting on one final push to bring awareness to the event. I wasn’t awarethe thing had an official name. Apparently, the two of them came up with the idea and have put up flyers around town as well as blasted the event on social media.
According to Tessa and Gray, the event is set to be hosted at The Stampede. The whole idea behind the thing was to give people in town a reason to come out and get together, but when word spread that it was being hosted by the fire department, it turned into a fundraiser of sorts. A few businesses have offered to raffle off items or services, and the money raised is being donated to our station. As a station that’s almost completely made up of volunteers, things like this make a huge difference in what services we’re able to provide and the equipment we can afford. Loretta over at Lori’s Diner has offered to raffle off free breakfast or lunch for one month, and Aaron’s tattoo studio and Luke’s bookstore are both raffling off gift certificates, just to name a few.
We’ve got a few fun things planned for the kids here at the station. Jake’s excitement over a classmate’s recent birthday party having a piñata inspired the idea for a candy drop using the aerial ladder truck. Hopefully, we’ve advertised enough that we’ll see a decent turnout. The whole point of the event is to bring everyone together. Hartridge may be a small town, but being located at the base of the mountain range means homes and businesses tend to be more spread out than neighborhoods in urban areas.
With any luck, the gentleman we assisted a few weeks ago will come out and socialize for a bit. Helping him hit a little too close to home. It reminded me of my brother and how much he tends to avoid social situations. Luke is about as introverted as they come, and even though he avoids socializing with large groups as much as possible, the shadowsin his eyes always seem lighter afterward. Someday, I hope he’ll find someone who permanently chases away the darkness.
Chapter thirty-five
Tessa
Myparentsofferedtotake Jake for the night after the Heart of Hartridge event, and since Logan spent the day helping out where he could despite being off-duty, we decided to treat tonight as a date. We parted ways just long enough for both of us to go home and shower, which we could’ve done together if he had clothes here. The thought has been on my mind since dinner at the firehouse when Jake said that since Logan’s always at our house, he should live with us. If I’m being honest with myself and I ignore the hint of fear about what other people will say, the idea has been on my mind a lot lately. Before my son so casually invited the man I love to live with us.
Most days now, he’s only at his place long enough to shower and change after work before coming over. He knows where the lock box with the spare key is, and I’ve come home a few times now to find him in sweatpants and a T-shirt, passed out in my bed. The first time he asked if he could, I remember thinking he was cute but crazy for wanting to nap in my bed. When I told him as much, he said he didn’t want to miss out on any time with us and wanted to be there when Jake and I got home. It’s for that reason, and so many more, that I love him. He’s constantly doing little things to brighten my day and show me how much he cares. Not just about me, but about Jake too. Like buying a booster seat for histruck so we don’t have to switch over the one from my vehicle when he drives. I added him to the school’s emergency contact list, and he’s been picking Jake up from school when he’s off duty. I think he loves it just as much as Jake does.
I think I’m going to tell him tonight. Every time I see him and every time we part ways, the words are right there on the tip of my tongue, begging to be spoken. I think I’ve had it in my head that, for one reason or another, I shouldn’t be the first one to say it. But I’m sick and tired of letting the things I’ve experienced dictate how I move forward with my life. Since we’ll be alone tonight, the timing is perfect.
Liv and Tilly are bringing line dancing and the mechanical bull back to The Stampede for tonight. The dress code is always casual, but I’ve styled my hair into loose waves and done my makeup a little heavier than my go-to natural look. I’m wearing a light purple dress with a darker purple floral pattern and a flowy skirt that hits just above my knee. While the dress would look amazing with heels, I’m keeping it more on the casual side by pairing it with my brown cowgirl boots.
Whether he wants to or not, I fully intend on dragging Logan to the dance floor with me. We didn’t get a chance to do one of the couple line dances the night we met, and tonight, I don’t plan on letting him leave my side.
My phone vibrates from where I tossed it on the bed earlier, and when I pick it up, I see a new text from him.
Lo:I’m here, darlin’. Can’t wait to hug you.
