Reaching for my phone on the nightstand, I check the time. “Just over an hour.”
His eyes flick open, and he grabs his phone, swiping his finger across the screen and opening his clock app. “I’m gonna set an alarm so I can go with you to get him. Will you wake me up if the alarm doesn’t?” His voice is a gravelly rasp as he taps in the alarm and sets his phone back on the nightstand.
My response is a soft “mmhmm” as his eyes fall closed. I continue to rake my fingers through his hair, helping him to relax as he succumbs to sleep.
Having him in our bed like this, knowing he’s safe and cared for, warms my heart in an entirely new way. I want to be the one who takes care of him always. The one who’s there for him after the hard shifts, to comfort him or be his safe place to fall apart, should he ever need it. Logan Bennett has become the most important person in my life, aside from my son, and I can’t imagine my life without him. I had no idea that accidentally running into him at The Stampede and spilling my drink on him—I did notthrow it—would completely alter the course of my life.
Chapter forty-five
Logan
I’vedebatedwhenthebest time to do this would be for a while now. It’s not something I wanted to do spontaneously. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t sure if doing it at all was appropriate or would come across as insensitive.
Ultimately, I decided I didn’t care.
Months ago, Tessa told me that coming here, to Willowbend Bridge, helped her feel closer to Ryan. She would write down all of her thoughts in a journal and then read the letters aloud to her late husband. She hasn’t felt the need to do so since things between us got serious. The last time she was here, it was to say goodbye and close the door on her past.
Today, I’m here to thank the man she lost.
I know it sounds crazy, but in many ways, I owe him everything. Had Ryan Miller not died trying to save a stranger’s life, I wouldn’t have Tessa and Jake in mine. There’s a part of me that will always hate what they have been through. There is not a single person who deserves to experience that kind of heartbreak.
An even bigger part of me will forever be grateful. Because without that accident, without the trauma and darkness that Tessa had to claw her way through, I never would have had the chance to know her. To be loved by her.
Maybe we would have met in some capacity. It’s possible that in a town like Hartridge, we would have crossed paths somehow. Maybe we still would have met at The Stampede, but our story wouldn’t be the same.
The air around me feels thick and heavy, weighed down by the folded piece of paper in my pocket. I’ve spent the past few weeks since the fire at Rideout trying to compose my thoughts in a way that makes sense. At first, I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep them to myself or make it a point to come out here and speak them out loud. Hell, I even thought about just burning the letter when I was done, as if that would somehow set the words free.
A gentle breeze blows through the surrounding willow trees as I pull the folded letter from my pocket and brace my forearms on the bridge’s railing.
Today is the day I officially move in with Jake and Tessa, the day we move forward together as a family. But I have to do this first.
My fingers tremble as I unfold the letter, my eyes scanning over the carefully crafted sentences. I have never been the kind of person who writes down their thoughts, but I want to get this right.
“Hey, Ryan,” I start, and my jaw clenches as my eyes drop to the flowing river below. “You’ll have to… uh, excuse me, if my words aren’t as put together as I’m sure hers have always been. This is new for me. I’m not really the write-shit-down type, but doing it this way seemed like the right thing to do.” A small gust of wind picks up, and my grip tightens on the letter. “I know what you’re probably thinking, but she didn’t put me up to this. She doesn’t know I’m here. I told her I had some things to take care of before I’d be over with my stuff.”
Fuck, this feels weird.
I pull in a deep breath and release it with a heavy sigh. Shifting my gaze back to the letter, I clear my throat and begin to read. “I moved to this town because I was looking for somewhere that felt like home. At first, I thought I would find it at the fire station. I figured maybe I just needed to be somewhere with less people, you know? It’s so easy to get lost among the masses when you’re in the city. My brother lives here, and I thought that would be enough.”
My gaze traces across the next sentence, and tears begin to well behind my eyes.
“I never could have imagined I would find my home in the magnetic woman who pulled me into her orbit the first time I saw her stumbling her way across the dance floor.” A slight laugh shudders out of me as the memory plays through my mind. "I will never forget the night we met. Something about her had me in a trance, and I knew right away that trying to fight it would be useless. When I found out she had a child, I was already too far gone for it to matter. I knew, no matter what, I was willing to try."
And I’m so fucking thankful I did.
“Your son is an incredible kid, man. I always knew I wanted to be a dad, but thehowwas never something I gave much thought to. Even if Tessa decides she doesn’t want to have more children, it’ll be my honor to raise Jake.” The tears brimming in my eyes begin to spill over, and a few slide down my cheeks, landing on the letter. “Wherever you are, I hope you can see how much I love them.”
My heart feels like it is trying to hammer its way out of my chest as I fold the letter and slip it back into my pocket. I have more written down,but none of it feels like enough. With my forearms still braced on the bridge’s railing, I take a small step back and hang my head toward my chest, willing my heart to settle as I pull in slow, deep breaths. Eyes falling shut, I finally give voice to the words I came here to say.
“Of all the things I wrote down to tell you, the most important is just… Thank you. Thank you for loving Tessa while you could and for creating the most amazing little boy. And thank you for giving me the chance to love her and know what it’s like to be loved by her. Words will never be enough to explain how grateful I am, but I hope that… somehow, you can feel it.”
The flowing river beneath the bridge that winds through the trees seems to slow. The sound of rushing water quiets as I open my eyes and stand, stepping back from the railing. A cool, calm breeze picks up, and suddenly, it feels like I’m not the only person standing on the bridge, yet there’s nobody else in sight.
I don’t know how—I don’t even know if I believe in such a thing—but I swear it feels like Ryan is standing right beside me. Like if I were to stand still, close my eyes, and breathe, I would feel the weight of his hand on my shoulder.
Reaching up, I rest my hand over my heart and say, “I’ve got them now, man. I promise I’ll take care of them.”
The ride to Tessa’s from the bridge is quiet. For once, I don’t play music to drown out the silence. I drive with the window rolled down, the crisp, autumn air flooding the cabin of my truck as I ride with my arm out the window. There’s a sense of peace hanging in the air while my heart beats calm and steady in my chest. The folded letter is in mypocket, and I’ll probably tuck it away somewhere safe as a memento of this day. The day Tessa, Jake, and I step into our future together.
