Actually, Winters had expressly ordered Kate to stay away.
And she was staying away.This time, she was listening.She’d see if that made things better or worse, or if they made no difference at all.
“Is that distance impacting your sleep?”
Kate sighed.“My sleep is fine, Dr.Okafor.”
Dr.Okafor set her notebook on the corner of an oiled cherrywood desk and folded her hands in her lap.Kate noted that the doctor’s knuckles didn’t turn white.“Kate, if I’m going to help you, you need to be honest with me.”
Kate rolled her eyes.“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“You can start by telling me what’s keeping you up at night.”
Gee, where should I start?Could it be the deranged serial killer who thinks God prophesied my suffering and death at his hands who is now on the loose again?Could it be my ex-not-quite-boyfriend, who isn't even my friend anymore, who's splitting his time between working the case I'm not allowed to work and managing his divorce to the woman he actually loved?Could it be my mother's constant badgering that I try again with said partner?
She decided to summarize instead.“Stuff.”
Dr.Okafor sighed and picked up her notebook again.The danger was passed.For now.
“Kate, I’m concerned that you feel you deserve the suffering you’ve experienced.”
That comment blindsided Kate.It was an unusual sensation for a woman as experienced at interrogating suspects as Kate was.She opened her mouth but managed only to stammer before taking a quick breath and finally forming words.“I don’t deserve it.”
“You don’t, but you’re behaving as though you feel you do.”
Heat climbed Kate’s cheeks.“Really?You think thatIthink Ideserveto have my life fall apart?Ideserveto be the pet obsession of the Lawgiver?Ideserveto have my relationship fall apart before it starts and to have my boss treat me like I’m as fragile as crystal?
“Do you think that?”
“No!What kind of question is that?”
“An honest one.”
Kate's hands gripped tighter, and she now realized it was her body's instinctive defense against grabbing the embroidered woolen throw pillow and acting out her fantasy of force-feeding Dr.Okafor."Well, no.I don't think I deserve any of this."
Dr.Okafor nodded.“I ask because you’re not making any attempt to improve your life or your circumstances.You’ve refused Director Winters’ offer of protective custody.You’ve refused to allow your partner to stay with you.”
“You mean the partner who broke up with me because his ex-wife didn’t like that we got together after she left him?
Dr.Okafor raised her left eyebrow.It was always the left one.Kate was beginning to suspect the woman had suffered a stroke on the right side.Or the left side.Was it true that each side of your brain controlled the opposite side of the body?
“It was my understanding that you broke up with him,” Dr.Okafor said.
Kate rolled her eyes.“It was mutual.The point is, I don’t think the two of us should sleep together.”
“Couldn’t he sleep on the couch?”
Kate laughed.Not a humorous sound at all.“So because I don’t want tolivewith my ex-boyfriend, I hate myself?”
“I didn’t say you hated myself.”
“No, just that I deserve to be the pet obsession of a serial killer.”
“I didn’t say that either.What I said was that I’m concerned thatyoumight think that you deserve the suffering you’ve endured.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“Then why won’t you accept protective custody?Why are you distancing yourself from your family and friends?”
