“I feel like there’s a lot more to that story,” she said. He’d stiffened at the mention of his mother, and his eyes had become sad. Their argument must still prey on him.
“My younger brothers were hellions and kept my mother busy. I was the oldest and frequently left to my own devices, so I befriended a neighbor named Lewis. He’s the one who used to take me camping and fishing.”
“How long ago did you lose Lewis?” She leaned closer, reveling in being enveloped in Cam’s scent, his strong arms holding her.
“He died about a year before the asteroid. His grandson and his wife live in Lewis’ former bunker. They arrived at xTerra the day of the first Mount Mazama explosion.” Like the original volcano thousands of years ago, the recent one was also a landmark in time. The massive eruption had spewed ash into theatmosphere that was still landing seven years later. The series of volcanoes triggered by the impact was to blame for some of the unpredictable, harsh weather and the contaminated water.
“Are you close with his family?” She rested a hand on Cam’s solid chest, feeling his hard, fast heartbeat beneath. Hers raced at a matching speed.
Cam shook his head. “I’ve never spoken to Ryan about his grandfather. We’re acquaintances, nothing more.”
“I bet he’d like to hear that his grandfather wasn’t alone all those years.” She tilted her head.
He shrugged. “I didn’t want Ryan to feel like I’d replaced him or was closer to his grandfather than he was.” Cam kissed her temple. “What else would you like to know?”
“If you lived at xTerra your entire life, did you date?” Her cheeks flushed again. He didn’t kiss like someone inexperienced.
He smiled, the lines appearing next to his eyes again. “When I was in my teens, I dated a couple of girls from Edgemont, the local town where I attended high school. In the years afterward, I dated a few more women, but nothing serious. I’ve always been a bit of a loner.
“What about college or university? Did you have a job?”
He shook his head, which she felt from where she sat on his lap. “My mother discouraged us from going to university, but the spring before the asteroid, I made arrangements to leave because I’d been accepted at a college in Cheyenne, Wyoming. I wanted to study engineering.”
She glanced upward at his wishful tone. His eyes took on a faraway look.
“Why hadn’t you gone sooner?” Since she and Cam were close in age, he’d have stayed at xTerra for several years after he graduated.
“My mother said she needed me, but looking back, I think she needed me to stay where she thought she could controlme. I discovered I required more space and autonomy than she wanted. When the world fell apart, I joined the Watch and moved into my own bunker.”
“What’s it like living underground?” She didn’t think she’d like living that way year-round. While she was inside a lot of the winter, especially when it stormed, there were always breaks when she got out for chores. In decent weather, she spent a lot of time outside enjoying the beauty of the forest and mountains. Plus, in the summer, she uncovered the windows in her quarters and let in natural light, something he couldn’t do in a bunker.
He shrugged. “I’m used to it, but I miss the outdoors. That’s why the camping and fishing trips mean so much.”
She touched his mouth with a fingertip, unable to stop herself. “I hope you don’t mind being cooped up again, with me.”
“I don’t. I’m not sorry at all.” He wrapped his big hand around the back of her head and tugged her closer again. “I need to kiss you again.”
Though she responded eagerly, when at last she pulled back, her body shuddered. She could so easily fall in love with Cam, and that way lay heartbreak. In a matter of weeks, he would be leaving.
She took a deep breath, preparing for what she needed to say next. “I like you, but this can’t go any further. I can’t go with you, and you aren’t staying.” She struggled to keep her emotions in check, not wanting to cry, but she needed to be realistic.
Cam removed his hand, and she stood, immediately missing his warmth. Her lips tingled and her eyes smarted as she turned away.
“I’m sorry. You’re right.” He took a deep breath. “What can I do to help with dinner?”
Chapter 12: Cam
Cam awoke in the near dark. He flipped over on the couch several times as he tried to return to sleep. He turned over again. His gaze flicked to the fire, now a glowing bank of pale embers. It must be approaching dawn. With a yawn, he slipped from his sleeping bag. Maybe he could get a jump on the chores and surprise Lissa.
He glanced across the room toward her occupied bed as he tugged on his pants. The air was cool, as it was early in the morning. He smiled. For the first time in six weeks, she’d slept later than he had. With his improved ability to get around the last few days, the deadline for his departure preyed on his mind.
He stroked Mira, who often slept on the couch by his feet, while he reflected on his time here. His chest ached at the thought of leaving. When he left, he was going to miss Lissa. Despite their incredible kiss several weeks ago, they hadn’t crossed the line she’d drawn. Their first kisses had also been their last. Though he ached to hold her, he hadn’t pushed and had kept his distance—or as much as possible in a studio-size accommodation.
He wished she hadn’t pulled back from being more than friends, but he understood. She was protecting herself from pain. He wouldn’t deliberately hurt anyone, let alone someone he admired and considered special.
Still, he ached to touch her again, to trace the weblike pattern of purple veins showing through her pale skin or to flick his tongue against the length of her delicate collarbones. Her quiet sass also drove him to distraction.
Hell, he wanted to sleep beside her, but he hadn’t changed his mind about leaving. He had unfinished business at home and couldn’t stay here forever, tempting as it might be. He glanced around the now-familiar apartment. The thought that Lissa would be alone again made his stomach churn, but he didn’t feel like he had another option. He’d always lived at xTerra and wanted to do his part in protecting it from the Slains.
