With the laundry underway, he investigated his dinner options. He’d spent his day with Captain Wilson and then atthe Medical Center. Cam didn’t have fresh food here, not after a lengthy absence, but he pulled a few dehydrated options from storage.
He took a breath. At least with an increased Watch of four to six others stationed with him on a revolving basis he wouldn’t be alone. But loneliness was another matter. He expected that to continue, though he was determined to get to know Kory Walker better after having spent the evening with the man. Maybe he could be a friend.
Cam focused on mundane tasks to quiet his brain. He dug through his drawers, locating a couple of different warm shirts and thick socks for his stack to take to the Outpost. He focused on all-weather and hiking gear. As his ankle allowed, he wanted to patrol from the Outpost into the empty lands surrounding xTerra. After his debrief with Captain Wilson this morning, they’d decided that all hunting and scavenging parties would include members of the Watch to remain on guard. With the increased presence of the Slains, confrontations seemed inevitable.
Before leaving his bunker the next morning, Cam dialed his mother’s number through the interbunker system, hoping she would pick up. He doubted that a reconciliation would be so simple, but he had to try. She always screened her calls, so he wasn’t surprised when she didn’t answer. He let it ring for several minutes before dropping the receiver into its cradle. If his family had holed up a month ago, they might not even realize he hadn’t returned when expected. After the reasons he’d left Lissa, this was a harsh blow.
He clenched his hands. Maybe they hadn’t even missed him or worried. Anger surged through his veins. He deserved better.
Cam drove to Section 2, Bunker 227, rolling to a stop on the crunchy frozen gravel outside the bunker where he’d grown up. He parked, dismounted, and punched the call button on theoutdoor panel. He knew the door code, unless it had changed, but he didn’t live here anymore, so using it would be rude.
He held his breath. Waiting. It rang five times before someone answered.
“Hello. How can I help you?” It sounded like his next-oldest brother.
Cam waved at the surveillance camera. “Jed, it’s Cam. I got back last night from my extended trip and wanted to speak to Mom.”
At first, there was no reply. Then, a muffled sound, like his brother had covered the mouthpiece to speak to someone else.
Jed sighed, the sound emerging from the speaker like a blast of static. “She says she doesn’t know a Cam. Or a Cameron.”
Her petty response wasn’t unexpected, but it still stung.
“Can I come inside to talk to the rest of you?” Cam held his breath. It was unlikely. But he didn’t want to remain estranged from his brothers either. A difference of opinion didn’t make him a traitor. No matter how things played out with his mother, perhaps he could salvage a relationship with his brothers. Another goal for his remaining time in xTerra.
His heart sank when Jed said, “Best you don’t. It would cause too much trouble. Mom’s still devastated about losing the election. Reasonable or not, she holds you responsible. This place means everything to her, and you helped them take it away. Plus, Cam, you chose the Watch and then the newcomers over us. I’m not sure there’s more we can say. We’re not close. You also preferred that old man’s company to ours. Traipsing all over the country with him. Nothing’s changed since.”
Cam waited a heartbeat or two. “I’ll be stationed at the Outpost after tomorrow. If someone needs me, send word through the Watch. If any of you want to join, we could use good people.” He left the invitation open, hoping Jed would take it under consideration. “Tell Nate and Aiden. Please.”
“Don’t hold your breath,” said Jed. “We’ve gotten along fine without you for the last seven years. I don’t see that changing.” The line went dead.
This was bullshit. Still, Cam had tried. He couldn’t imagine Aiden going beyond the wall, but maybe Nate would consider his offer if he could force an opportunity to speak with him.
Cam trudged to his cart, his teeth aching and jaw set. If it wasn’t for the Watch, he had nothing to tie him to this place. It wasn’t enough. He gave the Watch until fall to sort out the Slains. If things remained in a standoff, he’d leave and make a life he’d prefer.
Until then, he’d have to dream about Lissa from afar. He hoped she’d understand.
Chapter 16: Lissa
April
Lissa carried on without Cam through the long, cooped-up, lonely months. Winter stretched thinner and older, while some of the everyday satisfaction and joy of living evaporated without him. After she’d experienced his companionship, it was more difficult to convince herself that she preferred to be alone. Seven weeks with Cam around had dispelled the lie she’d told herself to get by, and so far, she’d been unable to regain the previous feeling of satisfaction.
Though she’d made a comfortable life, she was existing, not living.
She needed to do better. Maybe keeping busy would help keep her mind off Cam. Grabbing her fishing rod, she headed out. On her way to the pond and stream below in the meadow, she tromped through the forest, her jacket unzipped, her gloves stuffed into her pocket.
She tipped her face toward the sun as she hiked, enjoying the sensation of warmth on her bare skin. A robin landed on the ground nearby, and she stopped to watch as it hopped along the edge of the path. She smiled, watching it bob as it moved. Just beyond, another landed, the two birds staring at one another as they skipped along the muddy ground, each searching for food and territory.
Lissa continued through the forest, searching for additional signs of spring. If anything could bring back her contentment, it would be signs of new life. While patches of half-melted snow remained in the shade, most of the muddy ground was bare. Around her lay endless swaths in a multitude of dull browns. Upon closer inspection, pale green shoots stuck up through matted masses of dead grass, and many branches held sticky buds. She couldn’t wait for more green.
She inhaled the scent of thawing earth, relishing the rich aroma that meant spring was warming the frozen land. Soon, leaves would return to the trees, blossoms to the flowers, and birds would be everywhere, their calls filling the forest with sound. Animals would have young, and insects would hatch and arrive to provide background noise. Everywhere around her, life and color would return. Spring was usually her favorite time.
Still, Lissa couldn’t quite get into the spirit of the season.
She’d attached Cam’s map to the wall at home. When she felt most alone, she’d trace the route she might take someday. xTerra wasn’t that far, especially compared to the hundreds of miles she’d trekked between here and Denver. If she were going to travel the distance to see him, this might be the best time of year. If she visited in the summer or fall, she’d miss too much gardening and harvesting time. She didn’t want to set up a problem for winter by being negligent.
Maybe she could leave in a couple of weeks. Lissa could plant her garden and then go. She gnawed the inside of her cheek. She’d already worried it bloody trying to decide. He’d left her the map. He must hope she’d visit. She blushed imagining their reunion. She’d replayed their last evening many times. At least she’d gone with her heart and spoken her mind.
