“She’s free to date whoever she wants,” I grunt.
JJ licks his lips. “Yes, but you’re jumping to conclusions here. They could be friends. If it bothers you, ask her. The only way you’ll know is to ask and hope that she’s honest.”
I close my eyes tightly. “And hear firsthand that she is dating him? I’ll pass.”
“Isn’t it better to know than to work yourself up over nothing?”
I despise that I can’t let her go, because I don’t want to. She’s it for me. There is no one else in this world I want to be with. And I don’t know how else I can show her that.
“Hey, man.” Ronan grabs my shoulder again. “If it’s meant to be, it will.”
It was meant to be, and I fucked up.
I lean back and grab my bag. “I need to go.”
“Finn—” JJ calls out.
“I just need a moment, okay?”
“Call me,” he exhales heavily. “If you need me. Call me.”
I nod solemnly. “I will.”
Once I’m up from the bench, I head to my car because I don’t know where else to go for complete silence and peace. I sit there for a while, and my mind ticks over and over until it feels like it’s about to explode.
“Goddamnit,” I groan as I slam my forehead down onto the steering wheel.
The demons inside me start to cry out for a quick release, but I refuse to let them consume me. I’ll be back to square one.
When it gets to ten minutes before my class, I tell myself I need a distraction, and the only one I’m allowing today is to be nose deep in a lecture that will probably send my brain into overdrive from how complicated it is.
But I have no other choice. I won’t allow myself to slip down that rabbit hole again. Even if there’s a voice nagging me in the back of my mind, telling me it’ll help take the edge off.
As soon as class is over, I’ll go to a meeting and remind myself why I gave it all up in the first place.
CHAPTER 37
MAYA BROOKE
Finn doesn’t let me load anything into the car as we leave for Christmas in Willows Bay. He does everything as he places our small suitcases into the boot, along with strapping Skye into her seat and locking up the house.
“Ready to go?” he asks as he turns to face me.
His blond hair has grown out a little, there’s stubble building on his jaw, and his eyes are brighter than I’ve seen them in a while. I don’t know what it is about this moment, but he’s too handsome for my liking.
I hum softly. “Yeah.”
“Let’s go.”
Finn opens the passenger door for me, and I smile at him gratefully. “Thank you.”
As soon as we’re on the road, I try to relax back and enjoy the journey, but I can’t. I’m going to meet Finn’s parents and his sister. We’re going to be together in the same house for days. What if they don’t like me?
“You’re thinking a little too hard,” Finn says as he keeps his eyes on the road. “You okay?”
I purse my lips and nod, attempting to ease the tightness in my forehead. “Just a little nervous.”
“You have nothing to be nervous about,” he states. “We’re going to have a great time.”
