The moment we get home, I bathe her in a cool bath and soothe the skin. She flashes me a wonky smile as her hands splash the water, and I press my hand to her blonde hair and study her face.
“You scared me,” I whisper. “But you’re just my smiley girl, aren’t you?”
I press a kiss to her forehead as I feel a presence in the doorway. My head twists to find Finn standing there with an extremely hollow expression.
My heart sinks. I panicked. I know I did. My motherly instincts came out, and I lost my temper.
“I’m sorry.” The pain in his voice is evident, raw and hoarse.
“I know,” I murmur as I drag more water over Skye’s back in an attempt to cool her rash. “You don’t need to keep apologising.”
Finn releases a jagged breath and runs a hand down his face. “I-I should have known, and I hate myself for not paying close attention.”
“Let’s just be glad that she’s okay,” I say softly because that’s all that matters right now.
But his entire demeanour is deflated. Guilt is written all over his face, and it shatters me.
“What’s been going on?”
He shakes his head.
“Talk to me.”
“My problems aren’t important right now.”
I give him an incredulous look. “Of course they are.”
“No,” he says. “Skye is more important.”
I bite down on my jaw. “You’re both important to me. What’s going on?”
“Just…” he mutters. “Had a difficult therapy session.”
“Want to talk about it?”
He shakes his head again.
“Finn, please,” I murmur desperately.
“Not right now, okay?”
There’s only so much I can do. If he doesn’t want to talk, then I can’t force him. If anything, I’m scared it’ll push him further away, so I pray that when he needs me, he will come to me.
After drying off Skye and placing her in breathable clothes, I hold her as I sit down on the sofa. Finn is already there with his head in his hands, and I frown. I press my hand to his back soothingly.
“I’m sorry I got angry,” I say. “I was just scared.”
His hands drop to his thighs as he rubs over the material of his tracksuit bottoms. “I deserved it. It’s my fault. I should have known, I should have paid attention, and I wasn’t.”
“Well, it’s a learning curve, isn’t it?”
Finn turns to look at me with tears in his eyes. “What if I’m not good enough?”
“What do you mean? Of course you’re good enough.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Maya,” he chokes out. “What if something was seriously wrong? What if you didn’t come home when you did? What if something happened to her? I’d never fucking forgive myself.”
Skye wriggles in my arms. “I don’t know what I’m doing either, but it’s something we learn and adapt to.”
