After a while, I lower the glass, realising what I’ve done.
I stare blankly at the wall. I’ve lost them now. I’ve lost everything.
So what’s the point of holding back? I’m a failure and always will be.
I knock back the rest of the drink as it burns the insides of my throat, slipping through my nervous system until I’m physically shaking. I drop the glass to the counter as my chest starts to heave.
Every vein inside me starts to hum as the alcohol passes through my blood. I lick my lips and drop my head into my hands as the tears start rolling.
Images of Maya and Skye flash in my head, and I flinch at the instant guilt that starts to wash through me. I did the one thing I said I wouldn’t for a second of relief.
That instant craving for more grows inside me. It’s in my system, and Ineed it.
“Fuck,” I curse.
I sniffle and wipe my hand over my face to find my palms stained with tears.
“Another?”
My eyes remain low as I clear my throat. I nod to the bartender and allow my life to slip away so I never feel this much again.
CHAPTER 52
MAYA BROOKE
The sound of Finn’s phone going to voicemail is like a bullet to the heart.
It’s the eighth time, and it fills me with dread.
“Fuck,” I exhale as I lower my phone with shaky hands.
He said he needed to go to campus to see his professor, but he should have been back hours ago. Now he’s not answering the phone, and I’m thinking the worst. The last thing I want is to be an overbearing girlfriend who is checking up on him twenty-four seven, but I know his mental stability over the past week hasn’t been great.
I stare down at my phone before scrolling through my contacts. My thumb presses on JJ’s name without hesitation, and I gnaw at my lip as I eagerly wait for him to pick up.
“Come on,” I mumble impatiently.
“Hey, Maya,” JJ says as the line cuts.
I pull in a sharp breath. “Hey, is Finn with you?”
“No. He’s not at home?”
“No, he was meant to be back hours ago, and he isn’t picking up his phone.”
JJ sighs, and it doesn’t fill me with joy. “He ignored my texts earlier, too.”
My stomach bottoms out, and I clutch my hand over my jumper. “I know something’s wrong,” I murmur with a shudder. “He’s either turned his phone off or it’s dead. We need to go look for him. He’s not been himself recently, and I don’t want him to relapse, or worse. I’m so scared, JJ.”
“It’s okay. We’ll find him. Let me get myself sorted, and I’ll drive to you.”
I hear rustling as I stare over at Skye, fast asleep in her cot. “Thank you,” I murmur.
After the call, I ring Jade and Alice to ask if either of them can come over to look after Skye, and for someone to be here if Finn returns home. I wear a hole in the carpet from the amount of time I spend pacing as I wait for them.
When they arrive, they ask me what’s going on, but I don’t have time to explain as JJ pulls up outside a few minutes later. They say they’ll call me if Finn turns up, and I thank them with gratitude.
As soon as I’m in JJ’s car, he glances at me, and I flash him a wobbly smile that’s all wrong. “We’ll find him, Maya,” he says in an attempt to calm the chaos on my face.
