All I care about is that he’s safe and in one piece. Nothing else matters right now.
“I’m a piece of shit,” he murmurs hauntingly.
My eyes close at the agony in his voice. “No, you’re not.”
“I’m a shit boyfriend, a shit dad, a shit everything. I fucked up.”
I pull back and hold his face between my hands. His green eyes are dull and lifeless as he stares back at me. “Don’t say that,” I say with conviction. “You are none of those things. We are so lucky to have you, and Skye has the best dad in the world.”
Finn checks out for a moment as his eyes wander. “An alcoholic?”
“A fighter,” I say sternly, forcing his eyes back to mine.
He releases a whimper as his tears reach his mouth and slide into the crease of his lips. “I’m not a fighter. I gave in. I was drowning. I fucking relapsed, Maya. I’m so weak.”
“Relapsing is part of the journey, Finn,” I say with honesty. After reading up about it online, I learned that in the first year of sobriety, there’s a high chance of relapsing, but as time goes on, it becomes less and less. “No one is perfect. It’s okay.”
“I-I only had one,” he mutters numbly. “I promise.”
I hold him against me again, and this time he wraps his arms around my back and presses his face into the curve of my neck. My head rests against his, and I clutch onto him for a long moment as I swipe my hand over his back.
“It’s okay,” I say as tears blur my vision. “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. I love you. I’ll always love you, and I want to support you, but I need you to talk to me, Finn. We could have solved this together.”
Finn’s body starts to quake as he sobs silently into my jacket. “I’ve never deserved you.” He gasps for breath. “I keep letting you down.”
“You haven’t let me down.” I kiss the top of his head. “This is something we can work through and get you back to where you were before. Okay?”
He pulls away from me and tilts his head to meet my eyes. “There’s no one else for me.” He sniffles. “I love you, and there never will be anyone else for me, but I’m struggling so much, Maya, and I don’t want you to have to deal with this. I’ve been trying so hard, but it’s killing me.”
“Iwantto deal with this,” I say a little too harshly as my heart pounds in my throat. “You are the love of my fucking life, Finn Thompson. And if you think you’re getting rid of me that easily, then think again. I don’t want anyone else either, so it’s me, you, and Skye forever.”
“W-what if I can’t get better?”
“You will.” I nod with determination. “You can. I know you want that life, Finn. And I know right now you’re struggling to believe in yourself, but I’ll always believe in you when you can’t. I’ll love all the parts of you that you can’t until you see how amazing you are.”
Finn’s mouth parts with a trembling breath. “Why are you fighting for me?”
“Because you are worth fighting for.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs again.
“If you apologise one more time, you’re really not going to like it.”
For a second, his face twitches into a small semblance of a smile. “Are you threatening me?”
“If I have to.”
We stay silent for a moment as I caress the back of his head, and it brings me back down to Earth, reminding me he’s safe and that I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he’s okay.
“Shall we get out of here?” I whisper.
Finn frowns. “What about Skye?”
“What do you mean?”
“I had a drink.”
“Are you drunk?”
