My nostrils burn at the memory and the damage it did to my sense of smell. Despite some couples thinking it would be disgusting, we couldn’t stop laughing. “Like father, like daughter.”
Finn grins. “Well, I’ll take it. She might be beautiful, but she’s one smelly girl.”
“Hey.” I swat his shoulder gently. “She’s our perfect, smelly girl.”
His gaze glistens as he stares down at me. “Yeah, you’re right,” he says softly. “I like hearing you laugh.”
I stop breathing at his words. That’s one thing about Finn: being around him feels so easy that I never have to worry aboutacting like a fool. We never took anything too seriously, and every moment felt like I could undoubtedly be myself.
I teach Finn how to clean Skye properly and fit her nappy so it doesn’t rub her skin. Then I show him how to put her in one of her baby grows with red love hearts printed all over.
“Did I do it okay?” Finn asks as he takes Skye by the armpits and holds her head up with the tips of his fingers. “If I’m doing anything wrong, please just tell me.”
The panic in his voice is valid because, as parents, we want to get it right as soon as possible. I rest my hand on his bicep, and he glances at me with fear in his eyes. I give him a supportive squeeze, the kind of support I wish I had when I did this by myself for the first two months. But I let it go. He might not have been there, but he’s here now.
And maybe I’m latching onto him because I know I’m struggling.
“Finn, I promise you, you’re doing good.”
His lash line starts to build with tears, and I’m washed with sudden emotion. “Okay.” He looks back to Skye as she kicks her legs a little.
He kisses her belly, and she releases a smile and a low sound that echoes off the walls. She hasn’t started properly laughing yet, but I know when she does, I’m going to be a goner. He does it again and again, and the noises increase, as does her smile.
“Oh, look at you, pretty girl.” Finn beams at her as she looks so tiny in his hands. “You are the most adorable thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”
“She likes you,” I whisper.
“Do you think?” Finn’s voice strains with surprise.
I hum without hesitation. “She’s calm and happy.”
We head back to the living room, where Finn sits down with Skye in his arms. She falls asleep within seconds, proving justhow comfortable she is with her dad. Maybe something she’s been missing.
Finn doesn’t take his eyes off her. It’s like he’s stuck in a trance, completely in awe. “Should I put her down?” he murmurs.
“If you want to keep holding her, you can,” I say as I watch them. “Just don’t fall asleep while you’re holding her.”
“I won’t,” he says. “I don’t think I could. I never want to stop looking at her.”
My heart swells at his sincere words.
After a few moments, he finally looks up to meet my gaze. “Maya,” he starts, and the tone of his voice tells me everything I need to know. I brace myself. “I know things ended badly between us, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I think about you every day, and I miss what we had. I?—”
“Finn.” I adjust my position on the sofa and wrap myself up in my arms. “Skye needs parents who are going to be there for her. This isn’t about us anymore, not now we have a little girl. I don’t want to ruin what we have got going on, especially if we figure out how to co-parent successfully.”
“Co-parent?” Finn’s voice cracks. “That’s what you want?”
There is a sharp stabbing pain in my side when I see his expression morph into deep sadness. “I want what’s best for Skye,” I whisper. “I don’t want to see her suffer. If things end badly and destroy what we have going on…it’s too risky, and I won’t put her through that.”
Finn’s throat clenches as he swallows. “Right.” He nods solemnly, but his chest begins to rise and fall rapidly. “I understand.”
My fingers tingle at the urge to touch him because I wish we could go back to what we had before—minus his drinking. There isn’t a day I don’t think about him, but there is too much on the line.
I’d be a liar if I said my heart didn’t weep for him. That I pray I could look into my future and see how it’ll pan out, but I can’t. I open my mouth to speak, but the front door opens, and I whip my head to find Nina walking in. The second she lays eyes on Finn, she mumbles something under her breath that definitely isn’t friendly.
Finn’s shoulders tense, but he tries not to move as Skye is still asleep in his arms.
“Are you kidding me, Maya?” Nina directs at me without even acknowledging Finn. “You brought him here? Tomyhouse.”
