Smelling it on Maya? I have no idea how that’s going to make me feel.
“Don’t worry about me,” I say.
“I am going to worry about you. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and I know how serious you are about staying sober. It’s like dangling a steak in front of a dog; it’ll be too tempting, too confusing, and I won’t do it.”
The corner of my lip tilts upwards. “Okay,” I say eventually. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“I need you here with me,” she states. “I can’t go back to doing it alone.”
“Are you using me for my unbelievable parenting skills?” I tease, attempting to lighten the conversation.
Maya’s eyes soften as she buries her teeth into her lip. “Yeah, I needed someone to help change her nappy. You know?”
My eyes narrow with amusement. “That’s all I’m here for?”
“Unfortunately,” she says, attempting to hide her smile. “Someone’s gotta do it.”
“Take that back.” I step into her, but she backs away.
Maya releases a soft chuckle. “I think she needs changing right now, too. You got stinky daddy duties. Sorry!”
Then she dashes away faster than I can blink, but I’m after her within seconds. Maya can’t get far in the small flat. She crowds herself in the kitchen with a bright grin on her face. I don’t hesitate to grab her waist and throw her over my shoulder.
A shriek leaves her lips. “No, Finn. I’m heavy.”
“Shut up,” I mutter as I squeeze her sides. “I’ve benched way more than you, sunshine.”
She pants in my ear as I take her waist in my hands and throw her up in the air. She screams out again, but I catch her with ease. Her arms immediately wrap around my neck as I hold her close to my chest.
Her cheeks begin to flush, and my body cries out for her. For the girl I fell in love with and never see myself falling out of love with.
“You did not just tell me to shut up,” she exhales unabashedly.
“I will when you’re talking nonsense.”
Maya’s fingers graze the back of my neck, sliding into my hair. I suck in a breath. It’s moments like this that I forget we’re not together. It feels natural, because I know her better than anyone else, and yet I can’t do the things I want to do to her.
God, I want to worship her.
Breathe words of praise and affirmation into her skin until she believes it herself. If only I’d had my shit together, I wouldn’t have lost her.
But after my session with my therapist today, I know it’s not too late to win back the most important thing in my life. I’m not going to give up.
CHAPTER 25
MAYA BROOKE
I’ve tried on seven outfits and none of them are suitable for the party. Mostly because my body is vastly different from when I used to go out partying, and now my boobs are double the size, and all of my jeans are too tight.
I groan and throw the top onto the bed, my head falling into my hands. Not that I wanted to wear anything tight tonight. My insecurities would shine through, knowing that you could see every curve and line of my body. All I want is to dress comfortably, but I know girls don’t go to parties wearing hoodies and tracksuit bottoms.
After flopping down onto my bed, I sigh. There’s no way I can go. I grab my phone and shoot off a text to Jade.
Maya:
Nothing fits. Nothing looks good. Can’t come. Sorry.
Jade:
