Julian must beveryangry. I’m unsure as to why, considering he was only doing all of this to help me. He’s not suffering underemotionthe way I am, so I can’t find the reason why not letting him touch me is affecting him like this.
I guess it’s not my place to understand Julian’s emotions, as much as I want to.
After he disappears and I hear his footsteps retreat from the chapel above, I sigh. I could stay a bit longer, get through a good portion of this book, but I feel no motivation to. That, and my body is heating up more and more with each passing second.
So instead, I close the book and make my way upstairs.
I don’t bother showering—if the incubus comes, there will have been no point. I get into my pajamas and lie in bed, sweating against the duvet, as the moon trickles in from the skylight above.
Now that I’ve upset Julian and crushed my own heart, all that’s left is to wait for the incubus to come and take me. Will it be rougher than even the last time? Will it speak again?
I close my eyes, terrified yet prepared to receive the answers.
Julian
22
THEBLACK BOOKCONTAINSvarious curses and hexes, summoning spells, and ways to control and manipulate those around you. It most definitely features primarily what people would call ‘black magic.’
It’s overwhelming, if I’m honest, to translate and read one page at a time. And to make matters worse, I have yet to find anything related to incubi and I’m halfway through the text.
My phone most likely thinks I’m sacrificing lambs in my free time, and I’m afraid that any day now, a government official is going to knock on the front door of Chastain Castle with a lot of interesting questions for me.
But I push through either way, reading the different enchantments and ingredient lists, doing my best to decipher each phrase.
Even as I haven’t read anything in here that relates to our issue, I can feel it. I can feel that the answers are here somewhere, waiting for me in this terrifying text. I just have to keep looking, searching for answers. Answers that I needfast.
The longer I take, the longer the incubus will not be leaving Atlas alone, no matter how much of my come he eats. And as oflate, Atlas seems to be more content being fucked byitthan he is by me.
I’m trying to wrap my head around it, especially considering he saidIwas the best he ever had. That he preferred me. That I made him feel warm and full andclaimed.It just doesn’t make any sense.
And every night that I lie in bed, knowing what is happening on the other side of Chastain Castle, another piece of me withers up and dies.
I’ve become a brooding, moody little thing to the point that even Abigail has started to comment on it.
But what can I say? I was allowed a taste of Atlas Chastain; he gave a piece of himself to me—his first kiss, his first time with a human—and now I want more. I want all of him.
I thought for certain that after what we did, the incubus would back off at least a little bit. That it’d be able to smell me on Atlas.
Worst-case scenario, I’d imagined it barging into my room and ripping me a new one, telling me to stay away. I never expected this: for Atlas tochoosethe incubus.
Was the oral too much? Did I hurt him? But he seemed to enjoy it, if how hard he came was any indication.
If he wasn’t turned off by the oral and the sex was the best he ever had, thenwhy?Why is he choosing to cut me loose and have thatthingtouch him?
Angry isn’t a strong enough word to cover what I’m feeling. Mix in betrayed, horny, and depressed, and I’m one interesting cocktail right now. Definitely not the best company.
That’s why, as soon as I woke up this morning, considering it’s a Saturday and I don’t have to work, I snuck down into the altarroom to pick through theBlack Bookalone. I would hate to be rude to my dad or any of the Chastains who don’t deserve my wrath.
Maybe I should go have tea with Atticus.
Chuckling to myself, I flip to a new page.
I begin to type a few of the Latin words into my translator app before I freeze, noticing the scribbled writing in the margins of the page.
In cursive, written hastily and without care, is:
“A sacrifice is to be made”, “altar?”,and“it will save Elizabeth”.
