I can’t tell Susie everything; not only would it be a betrayal to Atlas, but she would probably think I’m crazy.
“That blows, Julian,” she says sadly. “I’m so sorry. What are you going to do now? Do you need somewhere to go? You know you can always come and stay with Lan and me.”
“We have somewhere to stay for now, but thanks,” I reply softly. “I just wanted to hear your voice. I was feeling lonely.”
“Aww, you poor thing. Here, let me talk your ear off then. You remember that girl, Kimberly, that I hooked up with? Well, she ghosted me! Can youbelieve…” Susie continues to rant about her being betrayed by Kimberly, and I smile, enjoying the sound of her voice and the distraction it’s providing me.
I really needed a moment to stop thinking about Atlas and the incubus. I think I was going crazy. Only now that I’m not thinking about that, my mind is wandering back to Cameron, Cassie, and Atticus and what might be happening between them.
“Oh, and you’ll never believe who I saw! Nathaniel Barfred!” Susie nearly shouts.
This catches my attention.
“Huh? Where?” I ask.
“At a club here in Cali. I went with Landon, and on my way back from the bathroom, I saw the two of them on the dance floor together. I swear to you, Julie, I’ve never seen a man look like they hate someone so much they want to fuck them to death.” Susie laughs.
I try to match her energy and chuckle as well, but my mind is reeling once more. Barfred was in California? I thought he was visiting family.
And wasn’t he supposed to be back today?
“When was this?” I ask her, considering the possibility that it might have been a different man altogether.
“Eh, maybe last Saturday? Yeah, that sounds right. But anyway, I asked him about it the next morning, and do you want to know what Lan said? He said, ‘That bastard doesn’t know what he’s done, what he’s just unlocked,’ in an ominous tone. It washilarious.”
The timing does line up for it to have been Barfred… he was away from Chastain Castle last Saturday. But why would he visitLandonand say he was seeing family? Especially after how much they clearly disliked each other when Landon was here.
Well… it wasn’tallhate; even I could see that.
I groan, rubbing at my temple as I turn toward the street our temporary house is on. There are too many variables, too many mysteries in my life right now.
“Well, I hope everything is fine,” I say shortly, running my fingers over my bruised cheek.
“Julie,” Susie responds gently. “Are you truly okay? You sound pretty out of it for a guy who was let go. Is it… is it more than that?”
Damn this woman and the fact that she knows me so well. Fucking damnit.
I was really hoping for a distraction, not to wallow in my own self-pity, but here I am, about to spill my guts to one of my childhood best friends.
I park in the driveway of the house, sighing.
“Yeah,” I murmur, staring at the steering wheel. “It’s more than that.”
“It’s about Atlas, isn’t it? That’s why you wanted to help him so badly,” she observes.
“Mhm. I… I think I’m falling in love with him.” It’s my first time saying it out loud, and now that it’s out in the open, it’s a hundred times more real.
If I’m not already there, I’m teetering right on the edge.
How I can fall so quickly for a man I’ve only known for months, when I couldn’t muster anyrealemotion for Landon in years, I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense.
Is love supposed to make sense?
“Then what are you doing?” Susie asks softly.
“Me? Right now I’m sitting in Dad’s truck, avoiding him and—”
“No, Julie,” she interrupts. “What are youdoing?If you think you’re falling in love, doesn’t that mean you should be risking it all? Shouldn’t you be at that ridiculous castle, barging inside and helping him through his illness? You’re both grown. You’re not children anymore.”
