“I know this is all pretty weird for you. Last year, when we snuck in, it was because something similar was bothering Atlas,” he explains.
“What happened? You guys exorcised it?” I ask.
“No,” he chuckles. “It wasn’t possessing him the way this demon did with Atticus. It was… well, it was using him. Those things, they feed off of sex. It’s their life source.”
Oh.That’s why it was coming to my room, touching me as it did. I stare at the brown liquid before me, suddenly a bit sad. It was never me it wanted—it was my body.
“Hey, don’t feel bad,” Julian cuts in, bumping my shoulder with his. “You love him. You were willing to do anything to keep him. If I’m honest, if the same thing had happened to me and Atlas, I would have done it too.”
That… that is actually very comforting to hear. To know that I’m not the only one so blinded by love and desire that I was willing to keep a demon chained to me.
“Uh.” I clear my throat, wanting to stray from this sappy emotion. “How did you cure him then? Atlas, I mean.”
“Oh, I jumped from the cliff out back and killed myself.” He says it so simply, so casually as he stares at Atlas, who’s still across the yard, fussing over a sleeping Atticus.
“Youwhat?”I gasp, and Julian just chuckles again.
“Don’t worry—clearly I came back to life. The moral here is that I understand you. I would do anything for him—even if anything meant death.”
“You really love him,” I say, and it’s not a question but more of an observation.
But Julian nods anyway, smiling softly. “Yeah. I do.” Then, with more humor as he turns back to me, “Something about these Chastain men, am I right?”
I stare back at him, taking in his bright eyes and wide smile. The scar marking him a savior—as I’m pretty sure the demonthat messed with Atlas gave it to him if his reaction to this new demon is any indication—and his gentle nature.
Guilt comes crashing in again.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out.
“Sorry? For what?”
“For using you. When we first met and you said you worked here, Cassie and I capitalized on that. We used your friendship to get inside, to see Atticus.” Confessing the truth feels simultaneously gratifying and terrifying.
Julian’s brow furrows, and for a moment he seems to debate it. Then, his bright smile returns, and he punches me in the arm. A littletoohard.
“Oh! Now it all makes sense!” He laughs. “You assholes, I thought I messed up.”
“You never did anything wrong,” I mumble. “It was all our fault.”
Julian sighs, clasping my shoulder in his palm. “I’m not angry. Thanks for apologizing though, it means a lot.”
I never realized how touchy Julian is until now. He’s all friendly demeanor and relaxed smiles—until Atlas is put in danger, that is.
“Thank you. Really.” I give him my best smile in return.
“Julie! Come here, please!” Atlas yells from across the yard, waving him over.
“That’s my cue. Talk later?” And then Julian is rushing off, putting his teacup on the stone fountain on the way.
Chastain Castle seems to hold a lot of secrets. Like, what the fuck was an altar doing in their basement? And multiple demon events? Sketchy.
But as I stare at Atticus from several feet away, watching his family surround him, I can’t help but feel a little envious. If my mom loved me as much as any of these people love Atticus, would I have been stronger in this situation? Would I be a better man?
Ifanyoneloved me that way—
Atticus does. Atticussaidhe loves me. But he also said it on the verge of being possessed, as he tried to convince everyone around him to set him free. What ifthatis why he said it?
What if Atticus doesn’t really love me as deeply as I love him?
