Cameron, who sat amongst a blazing fire to coax me from the edge of insanity.
When I first woke up post-exorcism, I asked him to never leave my side. And hepromisedhe wouldn’t. Yet twice now he’s left and gone home for the night.
Checking on his mother, he says. Which would be understandable if he didn’t come back so dejected. At first Ithought it had to do with work, as he does go every day, but he’ll chat about that all day long, about how useful he feels there.
So what is it? What at home is making him so sad?
I can remember several years ago, when Cassie mentioned that he needed to play basketball so that he could avoid his house. The implications, the weight of what he is keeping from me, are killing me.
And so is the realization that I’m the reason Cameron was involved in all of this craziness in the first place, adding to whatever burden he already carries. Unlike Atlas, who was cursed and therefore at the hands of his incubus, who came to him at night, Cameron was a target. A specific target for the demon I made a deal with, all because I wanted him so badly. Because it knew it could use his love against me.
There’s nothing I can do about that, though. Other than apologizing—which I’ve done a lot of—I can’t go back in time and love him any less.
So, I focus on the other three overwhelming issues that stare me in the eyes, sharp and hot.
But I’m in control. I’m smart and methodical. So, one problem at a time. And when they’re all gone and resolved, I’m going to have Cameron all to myself.
Guilt be damned.
I’m going to marry him someday and make him Mr. Chastain, just as I am. One and the same, mine to cherish and protect and guide, an extension of me fully.
But first? Julian.
I say a few parting words to a still slightly guilty Oscar and head toward the west tower. Only as I pass the back door to theestate do I spot Atlas and Julian by the cliff’s edge, watching the water.
Atlas is sitting in his lap, letting Julian wrap his arms around his waist as they cuddle up and watch the setting sun. And it makes me smile.
I approach where they sit, not bothering with a jacket as the spring air heats daily.
“Afternoon,” I call out, and Atlas looks over his shoulder, grinning.
“Atticus! How are you feeling today?”
“I’m great, thank you. How are you?” I ask.
“I’m wonderful.” My brother sighs dreamily, shining just as brightly as he did before things fell apart again.
Visions of him choking and gasping, held in my grip as I stole his life, flash before my eyes, and I shake it off quickly.
Not now. Not ever.
“And you, Julian?”
Surprised at my words, Julian’s head snaps up, his eyes meeting mine. “Uh, great. Thanks.”
I’ve genuinely never concerned myself with Julian’s daily happiness. His safety? Sure. Of course. I’m not a monster. But his happiness? I simply couldn’t be bothered.
Not anymore. I may not have to love him—he is stealing my brother after all—but I can respect him. Iwillrespect him.
“Good. Could I… could I speak to you for a moment? Alone?” My voice is low, almost embarrassed, as Julian nods quickly.
“I’ll just grab us some tea, then,” Atlas offers, his smile gleaming in the setting sun as he leaves a kiss on both of our cheeks before slipping inside.
“Uh, is everything okay?” Julian asks, sitting up straight in his chair. “Is it Cameron?”
The fact that he immediately assumes there is a problem for me to be talking to him like this makes me feel like a horrible person.
“No, nothing like that,” I assure him.
