Oh, no. No, no, no.
“You don’t mean…” I stare at him, unwilling to say the name aloud.
“Yeah, the same ones I brought with me that night I broke in here to help Atlas. Cameron and Cassie.” As he speaks, nonchalant as ever, the world around me starts to spin. “Oh, and Hailey and Kim as well. Michael is still a bit too young for drinking, and itisa twenty-first—”
I tune him out. His blabbering is hurting my head, and I’m still trying to comprehend the fact that Cameron and Cassie will behere, and not by force. Invited.
“I don’t think—”
“Atlas is very excited,” Julian interrupts. “He’s always wanted to meet my friends.”
Images of sweet Atty staring out the second landing window, depressed as he watched Julian talk to his friends on the phone, cloud my brain.
He always wanted a lot of friends, but due to how isolated our family keeps itself and then his curse, he was never able to make any. Most people are normally pretty standoffish with us; they think we’reprissy.
I’m sure Atlasisvery excited. Of course he would be.
Am I really going to ruin that just to keep avoiding Cameron and Cassie? But keeping them from the estate is the only move I have, aside from blocking their numbers, which I did as soon as Atlas was cursed and I couldn’t waste a single second dwelling over the messages I received. I had to focus on him.
“Alright,” I murmur.
It is what it is. If Atty wants this, I can do nothing to stop it. To deny him.
“Whatever happened in the past, you should be here for your brother. Don’t hide away on Saturday,” Julian instructs gently.
My eyes narrow on him. How dare he insinuate that I would abandon Atlas just because I’m uncomfortable? I’m a man, aren’t I?
“Don’t presume to tell me how to care for my brother,” I bite out.
Julian is not fazed, only smiling softly as he stares at me. “I’m not trying to. If anyone else in this entire estate had done what I did, it would have been you. I do not doubt that you wouldn’t give everything for him.”
Oh.
This guy seriously needs to get out of my face. It’s hard to continue disliking him when he speaks like this, and disliking him is one of the only comfortable things I have left.
So, I say nothing.
After another moment of silence, Julian nods and turns in the direction Abigail ran, off to find her amongst the blooming flowers.
The sun is hidden behind a thick layer of clouds, just as it always is, and I can hear the waves in the distance. None of this distracts me from my irritation.
Ihatelosing my grip on control. I can’t stand being so vulnerable, so stripped bare, and that’s how it feels to stand in front of Cameron now.
With Cassie, it’s mostly just anger and mild betrayal. I was really starting to like her after all, and she sat there and debated my worth with Cameron like she couldn’t see it herself.
Now I’ll be faced with both of them, against my will, and it’s all out of my control.
What a horrible start to my day.
Inside my room, safely hidden away, I sit on the edge of my bed and sulk. What I need to do is shower and prepare for dinner, but I’m too tired. Too mentally exhausted and disappointed.
Iwoulddo anything for Atlas; that is true. If I had found the truth before Julian, I would have jumped from the cliff without hesitation. Instead, I read theNigrum Librum, theBlack Book, and sacrificed my soul to a demon.
A whole decade of my life, gone in a flash.
I haven’t set foot in the chapel since then. I’m terrified to know what will happen to me when I do—will I burn immediately? Will an unseeable force shove me out?
Granted, before Atlas’s curse, neither me nor him were very religious. Sure, we believed as all Chastians do and would sometimes attend a Sunday service with our family, but nothing more.
