Needless to say, I messed up.
I should have been stronger, sending him away the moment he shut us in that kitchen alone. I should have screamed at him, shoved him out the door. Instead, I took his mouth the way I used to: as if it belonged to me. And Ilovedit.
MaybeI’mthe pathetic one.
Plus, I missed most of Atlas’s party by hiding up here. I’m sure he’s disappointed, though part of me wonders if he even noticed between shoving his tongue down Julian’s throat and dancing with his new friends.
This guilt drives me to see him, and I head up the stairs to the west tower with hesitant steps.
If I get an eyeful of Julian’s junk, I’ll have to bleach my eyeballs.
Luckily, as I push open the door with a soft knock, all I see is his shirtless upper body, the sheets wrapped around his waistas he sleeps peacefully on his stomach. And Atlas, with his head resting between Julian’s shoulders, his hair adorably rumpled.
He is also half-hidden under the sheets, thank god, because I’m pretty sure they really are naked underneath.
I knock gently once more, and Atlas’s eyes blink open slowly.
“Atty,” I whisper, beckoning him.
When his eyes meet mine, they narrow, and he lifts his head. “Atticus? What’s wrong?”
“Can we talk?”
He nods once, hooking his thumb toward his window as if to tell me,“Go out back.”
So I listen, leaving him to get dressed as I grab my spring coat and walk out to the cliffside I saw Cameron ogling yesterday.
In the dark ambient lighting of the garden, with his blond hair messy in the wind, he looked like an angel. A genuine, certified angel. But I know he’s something else entirely—something evil and man-eating.
Footsteps sound behind me, and I turn as Atlas appears in one of his robes.Nota sheer one, thank god.
“Good morning,” I greet, motioning for him to take a seat in the chair Father put out.
Atlas sits. “Good morning, Atticus. Everything alright?”
He sounds sleepy and slightly hungover, though he physically looks just fine.
“I was just checking on you. Hangovers can suck.” It’s a lie—that wasn’t my intent.
Nevertheless, Atlas takes the bait and says, “I’m fine. Julian made me drink a bunch of water and take some Advil before bed. Though I don’t thinkhedid the same.”
My brother chuckles fondly, wrapping his arms around himself as he smiles up at me.
“That’s good.”
“Mm,” he agrees.
We listen to the waves for a minute. The guilt inside of me keeps growing the longer I’m in front of him, and I’ve never been comfortable disappointing my family, so I crack under zero pressure.
“Actually, I wanted to apologize,” I blurt out.
“For what?”
“Well… for ditching the party. I was only there for maybe an hour before I left,” I admit. There is a hint of embarrassment in my tone, but Atlas just smiles brighter.
“That’s alright. Are you okay, though? Whydidyou disappear?”
I sigh. “There were people there I didn’t want to see.”
