Sometimes, I stand before the bathroom mirror and stare at the tiny scar I was given when they injected me. I prod at the spot until it becomes tender, trying and failing to find that little chip and yank it free.
Nate’s hands are shaking as he reaches into his front pocket, pulling out a vial of murky white liquid.
“This… this might be the answer,” he breathes out. “They found it in Joseph’s old office a few months ago. Unfortunately, though we’ve been searching, we haven’t been able to find a test subject to trial it.”
“How do you even know it’s a cure?” I shoot back, and though he hasn’t saidcure, I assume that’s what he believes it is.
“We saw some of the paperwork pertaining to it. It’s supposed to extract the particles of the chip that dissolved inside of you.”
It sounds too good to be true. In fact, it sounds like a lie. If EP worked so hard on repressing others’ powers, why would they create a cure?
“I think they were holding on to it, in case one ofthemever got repressed,” Nate explains, seamlessly reading my mind just as he always does.
“Nate, this is dangerous.” I’m searching his eyes, attempting to find answers in them. For him to understand me.
“I know it hasn’t been tested, but we can—”
“No. I mean, this is dangerous for my mental health.” As the words leave me, Nate’s eyes widen, and he falls back on his heels. “I mean, giving me this hope? What does it mean for me when it fails? How am I meant to cope with losing coercion once, then feeling as if I’ve lost it again?”
His arms are around me a moment later, shoving my face into his neck as he breathes in the scent of me and drags his fingers over my back.
“You know I’ll always put you back together again,” he murmurs into my hair. “And I’m sorry you’ve been without me lately; I just really wanted to make you feel whole again. To fix this.”
I know Nate believes I’ll never fully forgive him. And there might be a small part of me that never does—but being whole? I’m fine being just a bit empty as long as I’m with him.
So I tell him that.
“I’d rather you be here with me than off trying to save me alone.”
Nate stiffens, his fingers digging into my back as he leans back enough to read my expression. “So you don’t want to try?”
I snatch the vial from his hands. “I didn’t saythat. I’m just telling you not to run off again, even if it is for me.”
He smirks, moving his hands to pinch at my thighs. “You’re a brat.”
“You love me,” I shoot back, popping the lid off the vial.
As soon as the sound reaches his ears, Nate is all business again, looking at me with so much concern I almost miss the fear.
“It could fail,” he warns. “Or… it could hurt you. I’m not sure how your body will react to having the particles removed. I’m leaving this decision up to you.”
“I know,” I reply softly.
“I just… I wanted you to see that I’d do anything within my power to fix this. To help you.”
It’s so sweet, so genuine, that it unsettles me. Nate isnota romantic man, and hearing his reassurance after being bombarded with his absence is kind of giving me whiplash.
So I down the vial. It’s now or never, and if I dwell on the intensity in his eyes, I’ll end up naked and covered in come before the bottle reaches my lips.
The liquid is cold, despite being in Nate’s pocket this whole time. It stings like liquor on the way down, causing my entire body to break out in goosebumps.
But as I close the cap and set the glass tube on the bed next to me, it feels like we’re waiting for nothing. Like this is an elaborate prank, and I’m the loser who believed it was genuine.
“Nate, nothing is—Fuck!”
Agony—it’s like a pain I’ve never felt before. In comparison, the steel rod Joseph rained down on me felt like a relaxing Sunday afternoon.
My entire body seizes, my blood suddenly heating to the point of combustion. It feels as if a million of those injector guns are going off at once, all over the expanse of my body as I sob, clenching my eyes shut against the pain.
