“Just feel me, Lan,” he murmurs, his lips pressing against my ear as I shake. “Let me take it all away.”
I groan, shoving up and into his hand as he pumps me. Normally, he would not let me get away with this. He’d say something like,“Take what I give you, boy,”and smack my ass. But right now? I guess he’s feeling pretty forgiving.
Or maybe he just pities me.
“You should’ve come this weekend,” I’m suddenly saying, and I realize too late that tears are falling from my eyes. “You should have been there to stop it.”
“Stop it?” he repeats, gripping me harder.
I shake my head, unable to say whatitis without feeling like a total loser. How do I tell him about my depression when there is nothing actually wrong with me? Why do Iwantto tell him?
And as I moan, his palm twisting over the head of my cock, he adds, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
I look down, taking in my hard, leaking dick. It’s jumping and pulsing, but visually, nothing is touching it. Or no one, technically. It’s just me.
“Say I’m not horrible,” I plead.
“You can be so, so good when you want to be, sweet Lanny,” Nate tells me.
And it’s not what I wanted to hear, but close enough to have me coming in his hand as I feel some empty hole inside of me fill up, just a bit.
My hands snap out, feeling the hard ridges of his body, even as I can’t see him. I bury my face in his neck, breathing him in. I’m taking all of the comfort he’s offering me greedily and giving him nothing in return. Nothing but my come.
As the pleasure recedes, I take a deep breath, suddenly incredibly embarrassed.
Freaking out over him hating me, and then freaking out over him maybenothating me? Pathetic.
“Do you want to come back?” Nate asks softly, his—hopefully—clean hand running gently over my back.
“No,” I answer, shaking my head lightly. “Can I fall asleep like this? Here?”
It’s silent for a moment, and then I’m being picked up princess-style, carried through the endless, star-filled sky. Helays me on what I assume is his bed, and I can feel it as he takes my pants and my t-shirt off, brushing my hair from my forehead.
“I’m going to go clean up,” he tells me, and his touch leaves with him.
“Will you come back?” I ask, my eyes searching the sky above.
“I’m not leaving the room, I promise.”
I can’t hear his movements, so he must be cleaning himself quietly, most likely to avoid disturbing me. I wait, fiddling with my hands, until I feel his presence again—his big arms wrapping me up and pulling my back to his chest.
“Sleep,” he commands. “I’ll leave you in the sky until you do.”
And as my body relaxes into his arms, he truly does.
Until the moment I drift away, I stay right there, floating in the endless night as he holds me so tightly I’m kept from falling apart completely.
Nathaniel
16
I’M SO CONFUSED THATI could scream. The desire to find something solid to slam my fist into is overwhelming, but with Landon sleeping next to me so peacefully, I’m too scared to move.
Why? Why am I against disturbing him? Nothing makes sense anymore.
The way he was last night, resembling a wounded, wild animal, has thrown me for a loop. Now I’ve seen a side of Landon that is too human, tooreal, and I’m finding it hard to match it up with the larger part of him that I know.
The part that has me wanting to destroy him.
