“How are you?—”
“I’m not,” he answered. “Youhave the other half, Morrigan. I don’t know why, but my light chose you. That’s why we can see each other’s dreams… hear each other’s thoughts…”
It hadn’t quite hit me yet, and I wasn’t sure that I understood what it meant. “Can I not give it back to you?”
His laugh was light, but it didn’t meet his eyes. “No, you can’t. And if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t want you to. Morrigan, you don’t understand.” His other hand cupped my cheek as he leaned closer to my face. “My lightchoseyou. You quite literally hold a piece of my soul.”
My stomach fluttered at his words.But… why?The other half of my fears were…Kaiden. If I was tied to Tristan in a similar fashion, how was Kaiden going to react to that? Would he be angry? Would Dez accept it? DidIwant it?
The tether warmed in my chest, like I could actually feel the string that bound us. It pulled, begging for me to step closer, and I tried to fight it. But as I thought of the dreams, and I thought of the way I felt hearing him say myname, I wondered if this battle was a lost cause. What would it feel like if Ididn’tfight it?
“What if I don’t choose this? What if I want to go back home and forget everything you just said?”
He closed his eyes but kept his hands on my cheeks. “Then, I’d respect that. It’s your right. Just because you have this piece of me doesn’t mean I own you, Morrigan. You are your own person.”
I contemplated doing just that. Walking back to the castle, taking Azrael, and demanding that he bring us home. But the tether screamed at me, pleading—like it was trying to convince me that doing so would be a mistake.
“And… what if…” I struggled with my words, scared to let them fall from my lips. “What if I want to… understand the connection… better?”
His lashes rose, and his deep blue eyes bore into mine. “I don’t want to pressure you into something you don’t want. I’m notthem, Morrigan. I won’t use you. If you want to leave, I’ll take you right back?—”
The leap of faith took every ounce of my courage, but I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his. I didn’t know why I did it, but the moment our lips touched, the energy in the room exploded. My skin buzzed, and my mind quieted into a peaceful silence. Somehow, every ounce of my anxiety poured out of me, and the tether hummed in pure ecstasy.
Pull away, Morrigan. Just stop. It’s not too late.
But I didn’t. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, falling into a void of pleasure that melted every part of me. After a couple of seconds, Tristan pulled away, both of us catching our breath. As my light began to dim, the black lines reemerged onto his face, dimming the light in his injured eye.
Then, he pressed his forehead against mine and allowed his own power to recede as well. “Give me time,” he whispered. “Give me a little time to prove myself. I know you’ve given pieces of your heart away already… I’m just asking that you save one for me.”
Chapter 21
MORRIGAN
Iwasn’t entirely sure what we were supposed to do next.
What Ididknow was that I could still feel his kiss days after it happened. In the middle of occluding, I sometimes found myself staring at his lips when he wasn’t paying attention. Needless to say, it made my mental shields crumble, almost impossible to build back up.
Since then, Mara hadn’t been as cold anymore. She still barely spoke to me, but our interactions had increased to simple greetings in the hall when we passed by each other. She even sat with Azrael some days in the courtyard when he wanted to pick the flowers. He thought they looked pretty on the dining table, and would put together a small bouquet of daisies every couple of days. Thankfully, Tristan didn’t mind.
But I still yearned to understand Mara more. Why did we look so alike? And why did I feel like she could barely stand the sight of me?
“Gods, Morrigan. I swear your hair just gets thicker instead of longer,” my mother complained as she attempted to braid it. It had been so long since she touched my hair like this.
“Maybe you’re just out of practice,” I threw back at her with a smile.
Finally, she got it pulled back just enough to keep it out of my face. Before I could stand from the chair, she knelt down in front of me and pulled my hands into hers. “You know… I’m so happy I get to spend this time with you.” She opened her mouth to continue, but closed it and took in a breath instead.
“I am too,” I assured her, giving her hands a tight squeeze.
After a couple of silent seconds, she finally looked back up at me. “This won’t be forever. You know that. Eventually, I will need to pass on or else I’ll become one of those…” She swallowed. “I know this is a lot. It’s confusing, and you keep getting thrown into situations that feel so impossible. But I want you to know that youdohave a choice, flower.”
Her eyes were hazing with unshed tears that I knew she was doing everything in her power to hold back.
“Tristan is a very kind person. He’s been with you for a long time, and that might make you feel like you owe something to him. But you don’t. You don’t owe any of them anything.” She raised one of her hands and placed it gently on my cheek. “If you do find love, it would make me so happy, Morrigan. But I want you to know that the love that matters most is the love you have for yourself.”
Great. Nowmyeyes are burning.
“You are so strong—stronger than any of them. You have a heart that even the worst of this world couldn’t break. A strength that could move any mountain…”
