“Thank you.” I let out a long breath. I could trust these men with my life. With Kyle’s life. And yet knowing that didn’t ease the sense of foreboding that was growing by the second. “All right. Enough of unpleasant chit chat. Let’s go eat.”
Despite the somber mood in my office, at the supper table, Zane and Paul appeared lighthearted. I did my best to act thesame way, though I felt anything but. Zane sat beside Lara and was attentive enough to her that she kept blushing and looking down at her plate, while Paul engaged Ren in conversation about TV shows and Oregon, a place Ren apparently wanted to visit but doubted he would have a chance. I was very pleased when Paul invited Ren to visit him in the future.
Xavier, seated next to Ren, looked distinctly less pleased. I’d seen that expression on others’ faces in the past. If Ren wasn’t Xavier’s mate, he was someone to whom Xavier was very attracted. I couldn’t tell which. That bothered me a little. When mates were together, there was a certain sense, something undefinable that told everyone around them that they were destined for each other. As if we could see the bonds connecting them and feel the joining of their souls, as sappy as that sounded. Unless someone was as closed down as Chal Torres had been.
With Xavier and Ren, there was something in the air that said they belonged together, but it wasn’t as strong as the mate bonds I’d encountered before. Ultimately, it didn’t matter ifIcould detect it. The important thing was whether they recognized it, and what they intended to do about it. Mates were put together by fate, but they still had a choice in the matter. They could choose not to stay with each other, though once mates met, being apart caused a physical pain like something had been ripped out of you. Literally. I’d experienced it a couple of times when Kyle and I were apart.
However it turned out, Xavier was clearly interested in Ren. The interest, judging from the way Ren occasionally leaned toward Xavier and smiled at the rare instances when Xavier spoke, was mutual, but then sometimes Ren cringed away from Xavier and stared down at his plate.
Understandably, Ren would need time to trust Xavier. After what Ren had been through, he would need time to trust anyone. Hopefully he would take me up on the offer of connecting with Carlos or Suzannah so he could begin to work toward healing from his change and the beating, and from whatever had occurred in his life before his change that had left him in shelters and on the street.
After we finished eating, all of us except the night guards stayed around the table, chatting and drinking tea, coffee, or the sparkling cider that someone had brought into the house without my realizing. I appreciated the gesture. Alcohol didn’t do a whole hell of a lot for most werewolves. We metabolized it too fast to be able to get drunk. Some werewolves drank anyway, because they liked the taste. I didn’t, but I did enjoy celebratory drinks in champagne glasses, so the sparkling cider was a perfect compromise.
I excused myself from the group earlier than I usually would have, saying that I wanted to get a good night’s sleep before the gathering. It wasn’t entirely untrue, but I didn’t need much sleep. Most werewolves didn’t. Really, I just needed a break from being around people before I had no choice but to be around hundreds of people, all of whom would be looking to me for direction, guidance, and maybe a fight.
Kyle, knowing that sometimes solitude was best for me, stayed downstairs while I went up to our room and sat cross-legged on the bed. Meditation, or visualization, had been a tool in my calm-down-Tobias toolbox since I was fifteen, when the NH-Mass healer, recognizing how deep my anger ran, taught me to imagine the ocean when I was angry. I’d gone through months of temper and rage before I finally got the hang of the visualizing. After that, it was how I kept myself in check.
At least it had been until December. The ocean wasn’t really my friend anymore since Jed Howe used it to end his life when he realized his senility was endangering his mate and their pack. Jed had walked into the sea in wolf form and allowed himself to sink. To drown. His death had caused something in me to snap. That was when the Anax power had thoroughly taken hold as a separate entity, something that wanted to rule me so it could rule the rest of the country.
I was better now. Grief fucked mightily with me, but after I finally accepted and integrated the Anax power, I went to Suzannah and asked her to help me process Jed’s death. I still grieved him. I probably always would. Even though I’d been a member of NH-Mass Pack for less than three years before I tookover Boston North, and despite his claiming over and over to know nothing about children or teens, Jed had been a better father than the man who contributed genetic material to me. But I handled my grief a lot better now than I had during those first few months after his death.
I couldn’t find peace in the ocean anymore, though. Not the physical ocean that lapped against a concrete wall at the back of Kyle’s and my Winthrop property, and not the ocean I’d been visualizing for the past several decades. So instead of picturing the ocean to calm myself as I sat on the bed, I pictured trees. Hundreds upon hundreds of trees that stretched toward the sun in a bright blue sky.
It didn’t have nearly the same effect that the ocean had once had. But it at least shut off my mind enough thatI was able to sleep.
Chapter Six
The followingmorning, I got up earlier than I would have liked. Even though we were just barely past the summer solstice, which around here meant sunrise was shortly after five a.m., it was still dark outside as I quickly showered and dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt. I didn’t bother with socks and shoes yet. The wolf in me wasn’t a fan of wearing so many clothes, and staying barefoot until guests arrived was a fair compromise. Not that most of the guests would care if I stayed barefoot through the entire gathering, but I had to give some nod to formality.
Toward the east, the sky was brightening when I got to the kitchen, where Chloe and her assistants were already hard at work. I stayed out of their way as I went to the coffeepot at one end of the long counter. The pot, of course, was full. Chloe always kept it that way at the Winthrop house, and I was relieved to know it would be the same here.
“Tobias, do you have a moment?” Chloe didn’t turn away from whatever vegetable she was chopping. “With everyone here, I want to make sure the instructions are clear.”
“Sure.” I didn’twantto go over instructions, especially when I hadn’t had even a sip of coffee yet. However, with three humans who had no idea what they were getting into standing in front of me, clarifying things wouldn’t be a bad idea, caffeine or not. “Doyou want me to just go over the plans, or do you have specific questions?”
“I have a question.” The human who spoke, Dorney, was a man in his early to mid thirties. His reddish-brown hair was caught up under a net while he smoothed something on a slab of meat. “What is all this? Who are we cooking for, and why are there so many of them?”
“That’s more than one question.” I couldn’t resist the response, especially when his attitude set me on edge. I would have to keep an eye on this one, or at least have the guards do so.
He wasn’t even asking about anything the temp workers hadn’t already been told. I’d informed my new hires that we were all werewolves. There was no way to hide it, especially since they would be on site for full moon night. Unfortunately, Dorney was the one I’d had to compel to keep his mouth shut, so his interrogation didn’t really surprise me. It did, however, make me wary. Each time I mentioned werewolves was a time that one of the humans might decide to go against their promises and tell others about us.
Maybe I would have to go a step beyond nondisclosure agreements and compulsion to silence, and use compulsion to block their memories of us once their employment with me ended. Something to think about while we got through the controlled chaos of the next few days.
“This is the national gathering of the arkhons and alphas of the United States.” My voice seemed to echo in the room. I would give the same introduction to my guests during the first meeting of the gathering, which would take place the next day after breakfast. “You’re cooking for the leaders of the twelve regions of the United States, the leaders of every werewolf pack in the United States, and any guests they choose to bring. There are so many of them because the United States is a large country, geographically and population-wise, so there are a lot of werewolves. Does that answer your questions?”
“Yes,” Dorney mumbled and went back to whatever he was doing to the poor defenseless slab of meat.
“Dorney, if you don’t feel comfortable here, you’re welcome to leave,” Chloe said. “The rest of us can handle things without you.” She looked at me with a slight nod. I nodded back. I was in charge overall, but Chloe was in charge of the kitchen, and I would back any decisions she made.
“I’m fine,” Dorney said.
“Good.” Chloe slammed her knife through a potato with such force that Solana and one of the other women, Olive, jumped. “Then show some respect to Tobias. He’s your employer for the next few days. And all those werewolves he just mentioned? He is in charge of all of them. The ones who will be here and the ones who won’t be attending. Every single werewolf in the country.”
“Werewolf president,” Olive whispered to Bonnie, who stood beside her. They both snickered.
“Essentially, yes, I’m the werewolf president,” I said. Both women stared at me, open-mouthed, then quickly went back to their work. I chuckled. “In case I forgot to mention it, werewolves generally have stronger senses than most humans. Including the sense of hearing. Don’t worry, you weren’t being disrespectful. I’ve used that comparison myself a few times.”
“We all work for you, Tobias,” Chloe said. “And we’ll all treat you with respect and do what you need us to do. Would you give us an overview of what to expect? I’ve filled them in a little, but obviously my experience with the former Anax was different.”
