“With the field you’re in, I think those are normal thoughts, but it’s not something you should dwell on. Remember, our timing isn’t God’s.”
Aspen finished the rest of her ice cream and sighed. “I know. I just can’t help but wonder. Sometimes, I feel guilty for giving up my education during his sickness, but I would do it over again. I got time with him I’d never be able to get back.”
“Exactly.” Mahari laced their fingers together and chuckled. “Your father was cool as hell, but he didn’t play about his baby girl.”
“He didn’t. Remember when you wanted to take me to the middle school dance my sixth-grade year?”
“Hell yeah. I’ll never forget the way he chastised me for being two years older than you, trying to take you out. It was only because you were who I felt comfortable with. If he would’ve let you go, I would’ve had fun. I still blame him for that.”
Jokingly, Aspen snatched her hand away from Mahari’s and swatted at him. “Don’t be putting that on my daddy. He didn’t think you wanted to take me as only a friend. He thought you were trying to court me as he used to say.”
“Back then? Nah. We’d been friends for too long, and no offense, but I wasn’t checking for you like that. You were too mean to me and other boys.”
“I was not!”
“Shittin’ me. Any boy that tried to get with you, you turned them down. You didn’t start dating until high school, Bunny.”
“I had my reasons.”
Back then, Aspen was afraid to let any male outside of her father, Denver, and Mahari get close to her. She heard horror stories about some of her classmates being molested, and shedidn’t want that to happen to her. The thought made her mean as a snake, but when she got old enough to protect herself and let her guard down, she opened up some more.
“Let’s ride somewhere.”
“Sounds good.”
If Mahari wanted to travel to the moon, Aspen would follow him. She loved spending time with him. Whenever they were together, she felt free and at peace. Why wouldn’t she want to be surrounded by that always?
Twelve minutes later, they were pulling up at their old high school. Aspen snickered when Mahari got out and helped her out as well. They walked back to the old park they used to hang out at and sat on the bench.
Out the corner of Aspen’s eyes, she could see Mahari staring at her. She brushed her hair behind her ear and locked her eyes with his. The moment brought back a flood of memories, ones she’d pushed to the back of her mind.
“Can I tell you something?” Aspen asked, smirking.
“I’m listening.”
“When you were a senior, and I was a sophomore, I had a tiny crush on you.”
Mahari smacked his lips. “Get the fuck out of here.”
“I did. You were dating that one girl at the time.” Aspen snapped her fingers a few times, trying to remember. Her eyes expanded, and she jabbed her finger in Mahari’s chest. “Trina! She was so damn mean to me.”
“She was a little feisty one. Why you ain’t say anything back then?”
“The same reason we been keeping it in all these years. Fear. That’s neither here nor there now. We’re here.”
Invading her personal space, Mahari took Aspen’s breath when he sensually kissed her. Her hand ran through his beard to the back of his neck, deepening the kiss. Their tongues exploredone another’s mouth as Mahari’s hands did the same on Aspen’s body. For a moment, she felt insecure. There she was eight months pregnant with twins while making out with Mahari like she was in high school. She didn’t feel sexy, so his touch became uncomfortable. She pulled back and tugged on her bottom lip.
Mahari’s eyes were low, and his mouth was tight. His eyes scanned over Aspen’s body before he questioned, “Are you okay, Aspen?”
All she could do was shake her head and lift her face toward the sky. Everything in the moment felt so wrong and right. She absolutely despised how her feelings were up and down when it came to her and Mahari.
Gently, Mahari tugged her chin down to look at him. “Tell me what’s on your mind, Bunny.”
“Do you think I’m sexy?”
“As fuck,” Mahari answered without haste. “I mean, look at you.”
“Look at me. I’m huge, Mahari, and you had your hands all over me. I don’t feel sexy anymore, so I can’t act like it didn’t make me uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong. I want to be desired by you, but it’s hard when I don’t feel desirable.”
