“Is that where you want me to be?”
The amount of uncertainty Mahari was exposing had Aspen second-guessing as well, but she shook it off as swiftly as it came.
“I do,” she assured him. “You’ve been by my side through everything. I wouldn’t know how to function without you.”
“But?”
“What do you mean? I didn’t say but.”
“You didn’t, but I know there is one. Keep it all the way real with me, Aspen. Other than closure, what else are you looking for from Lance?”
“Nothing. If you’re thinking I want to give him another chance, I don’t. I’ll admit, I do miss him, but—Mahari!”
For the second time, Mahari had walked away from Aspen, and she wasn’t sure what to think. He didn’t stop when she called his name, so she had to go after him. Chasing wasn’t something Aspen was used to, but when it came to Mahari, he was worth every step she took. Out of breath, Aspen soundlessly thanked God that Mahari didn’t leave. She was sure he was headed for the door, but instead, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. Keeping her distance, Aspen rubbed her belly and waited for him to speak.
The silence killed her. It was uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Aspen mentally cursed herself for admitting she missed Lance, but she was simply being truthful with Mahari. Secrets had gotten them in the situation they were in now, and she refused to allow it to continue.
After what felt like an eternity, Mahari expressed, “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
Mahari may as well have taken a knife to Aspen’s heart and twisted it. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not willing to share you anymore, Aspen. You admitting you miss Lance has me thinking maybe we moved too fast. Maybe we crossed a boundary we never should have. I mean, if you’re not over him . . .”
“That’s not what I said, Mahari. Don’t go putting words in my mouth.”
“But you miss him, right?” Mahari asked for clarification. He crossed one arm and massaged his beard with his free hand, waiting for Aspen to answer.
“Not in the way you’re thinking.”
“Tell me. How can you miss a man who did you the way he did? A man who never showed up for you.”
“Are you trying to throw that in my face?”
“No. Just reminding you of what you said you’re missing.” Mahari tossed his water bottle into the garbage can and headed for the door. “If you need closure, get that. I can’t stop you. There’s a part of me that understands while the other part doesn’t. Either way, I want you to do what you feel is best for you.”
The door shut, and Aspen slid to the floor and cried. She wasn’t sure how to feel or what to do. Was it truly that bad for her to want closure? Or for her to miss Lance? She didn’t want it to affect her relationship with Mahari, but it seemed to already be taking effect.
Maybe, just maybe, what she and Mahari started was too wrong to continue. Maybe her truth was telling them to stop while they were ahead.
“Thank you for meeting me, baby,” Lance greeted Aspen, helping her out the back of the car.
Hand in hand, they walked into the secluded restaurant and were immediately seated since Lance rented it out for privacy.Aspen didn’t speak right away. She was still processing her actions. Mahari’s words about Lance had been ringing in her mind, but she still found herself needing to know where his mind had been during their relationship.
Clearing his throat, Lance complimented, “You look beautiful, mamas.”
“Thank you.”
“How are the girls?”
Aspen rolled her eyes and picked up the menu. “If you were present, you would know.”
“About that . . . I want to apologize. I know I haven’t been the best man to you or father to them, but I want to do better. I can do better if you give me another chance.”
Lance’s statement irritated Aspen. She threw the menu down and tossed her arms in the air. “What’s the sudden change of heart, Lance? Why now? Why now, when I begged you all these years?”
“Stupidity and selfishness. It took you leaving me to see what I was missing. It took you leaving for me to cherish you and what we had.” Lance reached over and grabbed Aspen’s hand. “I’ve been going crazy without you. You’ve been plaguing my mind, making it hard for me to concentrate on anything other than getting you back. I want you to marry me, Aspen. We can go to the courthouse right now and make it happen so when the girls are born, we’ll all have the same last name.”
A year ago, Aspen would’ve folded. Lance’s words would’ve swooned her right out her panties and into her heart. Aspen was thankful she wasn’t that weak for him anymore. When she said she needed closure, the conversation at hand was exactly what she needed, but she still needed more answers.
