“Yep. Billy, tell Collins and Johnnie good night. We need to tuck Bolt in his bed for the night. Go pick out a book for me to read you. I’m getting tired myself.” Lou yawns and smiles at me with a wink, getting up from her barstool to place her wineglass in the sink.
“I already know which book I want. My favorite!A Girl Named Halloween!” Billy’s excited words become muffled as he darts down the hallway.
“We’ve read that one every night for the past two weeks. I don’t even have to look at the pages anymore, I have the whole thing memorized.” Lou rolls her eyes and tells us good night, following Billy.
It’s like her departure down the hall has all the oxygen in this trailer following her. Their absence leaves my stomach twisted. I glance up at Collins, his eyes already boring into mine.
The two of us, alone. Suddenly, I’m seventeen again, crushing on the boy. But the boy has become a man—a fine one at that.
“I think the wine I consumed is telling me it’s time for bed.”
I try acting completely unbothered and sober, but my stumble toward the door has Collins reaching out to steady me, blowing my cover. One hand at my elbow, the other grasping my shoulder. He’s barely touching me, and yet I feel him everywhere.
“I’ll walk you home. Looks like you might need the assistance.” His tone is edged with something rougher than teasing, like he’s already irritated with the situation, but he still keeps a steady hand on me.
“Oh my god, Collins. It’s like ten steps from this door to mine. I think I can manage.” I shrug him off and head out to the porch.
I’m a big girl, I’ve got this. I’ll show him.
Well, I would show him if I wasn’t currently on the ground. The hard cement beneath my cheek feels cool on my flushed skin. Thank goodness for the alcohol running through my veins, because where I would normally assume embarrassment would be present, all I feel is hysterical.
Bubbling into uncontrollable laughter, I start to turn over when I’m scooped up bridal style.
“Exactly how much wine did you two drink?” His breath hits my forehead, sending a jolt of electricity through me. The current turns my laughter into hiccups. He exhales through his nose like he’s both annoyed and unsurprised. “Glad to see some things never change. Once a lightweight, always a lightweight.”
Collins carries me into the trailer, passes Nan’s room, and brings me straight to my old bedroom in the back of the trailer.
“No, I want to sleep in Nan’s bed.”
His booted feet turn and clump along the worn, rust-colored carpet, causing the rickety bones of this place to squeak and everything to vibrate slightly.
Laying me down on the bed after pulling back the covers, he places a hand on my shoulder to lean me back onto the pillows, and makes my heart stutter. All the blood in my body rushes to my ears, where it swirls around, making a whooshing pulse.
I swallow and look up at him.
He’s looking back, hovering above me with hooded eyes, something guarded and conflicted sitting heavy behind them.
Collins keeps the hand on my shoulder a moment longer than necessary before slowly dragging it down my body. The side of my breast, my ribs, down the side of my stomach and hip, trailing along my leg until he reaches the heel of my foot and pauses.
I don’t think I’m breathing as I see the muscle in his jaw tick.
Like he’s reminding himself of something.
He starts unlacing my shoe and slides it off.
Lifting the other foot and repeating the gesture, his movements are careful, almost reluctant. I’m on fire watching this man remove my shoes as if he were removing all my clothes.
How the hell does he make something so simple feel so intimate?
So dangerous?
He tosses them onto the floor a little harder than necessary and grabs the covers, bringing them up to my chin. I can find absolutely zero words to speak.
He reaches over to my nightstand, clicking the switch to turn on the lamp. The soft glow illuminates the room just enough to see turmoil in his eyes.
For a moment he just stands there.
Like he’s debating something.
