If that was how he was going to be, she might as well throw everything into the mix. ‘And I cannot have children, Tobias. I was married for ten years. For eight of those, where there was a possibilitythat I might, I did not fall pregnant once. A duke needs an heir and I cannot provide it.’
‘When have I ever given you the impression I want an heir of my own?’ His jaw was tight now, anger setting in. ‘Never. If you have heard that I need a wife to provide me with one, then those words have not come from my mouth. I have four brothers. One of them will have a son.’
He did not understand what he was saying, not really. ‘You would be a wonderful father. You already are to Charlotte. I will not take that option from you.’
‘But you would lie with me now. You would be my mistress but not my wife?’ His eyes were blazing with fury, as if she had offered him an insult instead of a resolution.
‘I… Not now, not when you are so angry. But, it is the best solution. Do you not see that?’
He was shaking his head before she had even finished speaking. ‘What do you think Sebastian and Clare would say to me treating you with such disrespect?’
‘It cannot be disrespect if it is something I choose.’ He was still shaking his head, refusing to acknowledge that this thing between them could be something fun, something joyous, but not something serious. ‘Besides, guessing what they would say is irrelevant. They are not here. And there is another thing.’
‘What?’ His question was almost a bark.
‘You have not asked me to be your wife.’
He held her gaze for a long moment. ‘I have not asked you to be my mistress either.’ She said nothing to that. ‘And if I did ask you to become my duchess, would the answer be yes?’
‘That is an unfair question.’
‘Fine. I will rephrase it. Will you marry me, Grace?’
Shock rendered her speechless; his eyes were wide, as if he had not thought to utter the words either. Despite their heated exchange, she would never have expected a proposal from him. ‘You do not mean that,’ she managed eventually.
‘I do.’
‘You cannot mean it.’
He finally looked away from her, gazing out across the lake. ‘I take it from your response that your answer is no. You would give me your body, but not your hand.’
She didn’t respond. She couldn’t.
‘In that case,’ he said, standing and pulling her upright, ‘I thank you for the compliment of your generous offer, but in this instance, I shall decline.’
The ride back to the stables was utterly miserable, and Grace had no one to blame but herself.
Chapter Twenty-five
Tobias had made a hideous misstep and he did not know how to go about undoing it. This morning had been perfect; kissing Grace under the shade of the trees as the water from the lake lapped nearby had been as close to heaven as he supposed it was possible to be on Earth. Then he’d gone and ruined it. He’d known she was not ready to think of marriage. It had only been in the last week that he had truly considered the idea himself. Every morning, as he had slowly led Daisy around the training yard, Grace clinging to the reins and pommel as if she were riding at full canter, he had allowed himself to hope that her company was something he could enjoy for the rest of his life.
At first, he had thought that she would only ever want to be his friend, and he told himself to be content with that. Sebastian was the only person in his life with whom he’d shared anything like this closeness, and there was something wonderful to be given a second chance at finding someone to whom he could talk easily again. He hadn’t realised how lonely he had been with his words locked in his head.
As the days had passed, he had caught her looking at him, not with calculation like some women did, but with eyes that lingered on his lips. Every time he lifted her into her saddle, her breath would hitch, a slight catch in her throat. It hadn’t been enough to convince himthat she was beginning to think about him as much as he thought about her, but it had given him reason to hope.
He had been prepared to wait, to not show his hand too soon, to ease her into the idea that marriage to him would not be like with her awful first husband. He’d thought he would have weeks, if not months, to put his nebulous ideas into action, but the moment her lips had touched his, his mind had gone blank. His body had taken control and all thoughts and plans for the future had left him.
She was perfect in his arms, just as he had known she would be. The way she had whispered his name had almost brought him to his knees. He’d been sure that it had meant something, that perhaps, despite all the times she had told him otherwise, she was open to marriage after all.
Her offer to lie with her was so unexpected, it had robbed him of all good sense. Hours later, his body was clamouring with his mind to rectify his mistake in turning her down. Several times, without thinking, he had gone to search her out, before coming to a screeching stop. Even if he gave in to his craving, he very much doubted Grace would welcome him. What should have been a romantic interlude had ended in icy silence and her escaping his company as soon as she was able. He hadn’t been able to find the words to put right all that had been said, but he should have done.
His anger at her offering her body to him did not make sense to him now. And yet, he could not find it within himself to be grateful for the small part of herself she had been willing to share either. He wanted more from Grace than a quick roll between the sheets, or on the hard ground beside the lake if she’d had her way.
He shouldn’t have been angry. If he’d handled the whole situation better, then at least they would still be talking amiably to one another. She would have spoken more than a few syllables to him during themeal. Hell, he would have settled for her even looking in his direction, but she had not. Instead, she had retired early, before sending a note via her maid, informing him that she would not be able to ride with him in the morning. The situation had to be solvable, because the alternative did not bear thinking about.
After the meal, Tobias had retreated to his study. He would get no sleep tonight, so he might as well get some work done. Staring blankly at a message from an agent whom he had employed to look for Grace’s parents, and who had found no trace of them, was not helping his mood one bit.
To compound his dark mood, Freddie strode into the room without knocking. Since they had come to Glanmore Park, his brothers were becoming more relaxed around him. Up until five seconds ago, Tobias had been pleased about that. But as Edward and Christopher followed Freddie and not one of them seemed at all bothered by the scowl he threw at them, he was less inclined to rejoice at their improved relationships.
