She laughs; it’s quiet and melodic. It dies quickly and she admits, “I think she hates me.”
“Not as much as she hates herself,” I reassure.
Ruby folds her lips between her teeth, holding herself back from speaking. It slips out anyway. “You’re being really nice to me… Why?”
“You’re not my enemy, Ruby.”
“Even though I’m marrying Stefan?”
I bite back my first response, not wanting to tell her I pity her.
“Especiallynot because of that,” I say firmly.
Ruby lets out a deep, heavy breath. “I don’t want to be your enemy.”
Not even the harsh fluorescent lights can drown out her youthfulness—her dimpled, round cheeks that are perpetually pink from the sun but hidden under the spread of her freckles. My mind can’t separate this pretty, littleredhead in front of me from the eighteen-year-old version of myself.
“How old are you?” I blurt out.
Glancing behind her, as if expecting Stefan to come storming in at any second, Ruby plays with the hem of her skirt. “Twenty-three.”
Two years younger than I would’ve guessed. I swallow down the bile fighting to come up. They’ve been engaged for a year; At least that’s whenIfound out about it.
How old was she when they met? Twenty? Younger?
I remember my twentieth birthday better than any other, despite the fact that I’ve tried everything to scrub it from my brain. Alcohol, men, weed. Nothing has been strong enough to make me forget that specific morning. We had gotten engaged a few months before, but something was justdifferentwhen I looked in the mirror. Instead of feeling older, I felt like the eight-year-old girl who just wanted her dad’s embrace but was not able to run to him.
Then at dinner, Vivi had her ex-boyfriend there. They were sixteen and I couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t imagine a world where I was attracted to Brody, or any of Vivi’s friends. Even calling him handsome felt wrong—gross.
It may have taken me a few years to gain the courage to let my own stubborn preconceived notions go and leave him, but that day, our marriage had ended before it even started.
Neither of us says anything, letting Ruby’s confession echo in the crater separating us. I’m three feet away from her and she feels out of reach, but I’d grab her and run if I could. Liam would understand—hell, he’d be more than happy to help, I think.
The sour realization that I can’t help her, unless she wants me to, swirls with the lingering nausea and creates a hurricane of emotions in my gut. Suddenly feeling sea sick on steady ground, I grab the counter for support.
“He—he won’t like me talking to you,” Ruby whispers, avoiding my eye contact. She’s picking at her nails, and I can see the scabs of where she’s dug too deep. Digging my nails into my palms and elbows was my MO, but I don’t want to cause her anxiety. Or pain.
“I should go anyway,” I say, pushing forward.
She takes a large step to the side, giving me a wide berth. “It was nice getting to talk with you, Calypso.”
I look back at her once but my eyes drag away just as quickly. My mind’s playing tricks on me, morphing Ruby into me.
“You too.” I throw open the door and leave the bathroom.
If Ruby is here, Stefan, and possibly his mother, are here too. The last thing I want is to make a scene in the middle of Bella Donna’s.
For one second, I can even admit to myself that unease claws at my bones when I contemplate seeing Stefan after his voicemail. It was the last time I’d heard from him, but I’m not foolish enough to think this is the end.
Stefan never liked sharing his toys; when I wasn’t a trophy or a burden, I was his emotional plaything. Hell will freeze over before I ever let my guard down around him, even for a second.
When I round the corner back to the dining area, Liam is already standing next to our table and placing some bills down in the receipt book.
I don’t bother looking around for my ex-husband, not when a much better sight is only feet away from me.
At his side, I rub his lower back affectionately. I’ve never been someone who is big into PDA, certainly not with Stefan. It also doesn’t bother me. It’s just notme.
These small touches are easier with Liam. More often than not, I find myself having to hold myself back from reaching for him. There’s less reason to do so when we’re in public, so I revel in the comfort right now.
