Not only that, but my maid of honor was my childhood friend, Juniper. Vivi, who was only sixteen at the time, wouldn’t have known where to begin with that level of responsibility back then.
The entire day has felt fucking weird. Like a Twilight Zoneepisode of my life.
If there’s anyone who deserves a fairytale wedding day, it’s Vivi. I’m not saying someone should have toearnlove, but she’s always dreamed of it. She became cynical for a few years; anyone would after the betrayal she experienced. Ittook Grady a matter of months to find that spark of hope in her again, and I’ll always love him for that, if nothing else.
I wish I could enjoy these moments more for her, but there’s always a lot of flashbacks of my wedding planning. Stefan’s mom did most of it; she chose the colors, venue, everything. Including the flowers.
Martha chose a pretty black dahlia bouquet because she knew they were my favorite. Whether that choice was out of the kindness of her heart or not was up for debate. I wouldn’t put it past her to choose something special to me just to soil it.
I fucking hate the flower now and still receive multiple bouquets every year from Stefan. Each one goes straight in the garbage. Usually I’d donate them or give them to a customer, but no one deserves that energy in their lives.
Along with the wedding party, my mom, Selena, Blake, and the three girls are here. Stella and Daisy are the flower girls but Blake’s daughter, Millie, wanted to try on dresses too. The large group makes it easier to fall to the background.
I already found my dress. A silk, strapless bodycon that goes to my ankles was the only one in the right color that happened to be my size. It was fate—and it saved me from having to try on a million options.
Vivi knew the exact dress she wanted, and it’s already with Blake’s best friend in New York City getting alterations done.
Speaking of the devil, Vivi walks up next to me. From the corner of my eye, I glance down at her as I mindlessly shift through dresses.
“Hey,” she says in her breezy tone.
I’m proud to say I haven’t made a single snide remark today, not even when Lexi was practically asking for it earlier by bringing up how she overheard Polly complaining about Liamagain. That doesn’t mean I can’t be an asshole in my own head, because some of these options are fugly.
“Hey. Did Lexi find anything she likes?” I cross my arms and turn toward her.
She’s the only one we’re waiting on, but I assume they don’t have as many options with pants here. Vivi’s patient and has emphasized for months that our comfort is more important than anything else.
“I think so.” She crosses her arms too.
Even mirroring each other, we’re so different. My posture is like a soldier waiting for battle. Vivi is patient like she’s about to talk to a toddler on the verge of a meltdown; a teacher through and through.
It used to grate on me more, when she was first stepping into the career. Now, it’s just who she is, regardless of who she’s talking to. Our mom, the twins, Grady’s daughters—we’ve all experienced it.
“I wanted to come check on you.”
I fight off an eye roll, shrugging instead. That single sentence irritates me a lot more than her demeanor.
“I’m fine.” Mostly I’m angry with myself. Vivi shouldn’t have to worry aboutmymood on what should be a joyous day. “Why do you ask?”
Vivi tilts her head. “You’ve been quiet today.”
I guess keeping my mouth shut was far less impressive than I thought.
“I’m always quiet,” I retort, turning back to the dresses and practically flinching away from a mustard-yellow tutu style.
She rolls her eyes and some of that precious patience begins to ebb away. “There are different types of ‘quiet,’ even for you and Hudson.”
I don’t argue with her. Hudson doesn’t verbalize a lot, except to maybe Asher. And that’s a big maybe. His body language gives a deeper insight into his head though.Ifyou know how to read him.
It’s the same for me, I guess.
That fact feels more shocking than it probably should. I’m so busy taking care of my siblings, even as adults, that I don’t give myself time to think about how deep their love is. How mutually it flows between us.
“It’s weird,” I admit. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you guys. I am.”
She nods. “I know, I never doubted that. I also know you hate all things weddings.”
Tilting my head back and forth, I think through my words. “I don’t hate weddings. I just hatedmywedding. And it’s hitting me differently with you.”
