All of that to say, I’m fucking tired.
Between it being our third week of cookie donations, everything with Stefan, and how much the Maddon family has disrupted my life recently, I’m high-strung.
More than that, I’mhorny.
God, I hate that word. I’m not usually someone who opposes crude words, but I can always make an exception for that one. There’s no other way to put it, though.
After Liam’s little speech about howheisn’t ready because he’s worried about pushing me, I don’t know how to go about this situation. He said the ball was in my court, then stole it back.
Which is totally okay—I need him to want physical intimacy as much as I do. Now I’m in control, but there are conditions.
What the fuck are those conditions?
We kiss alot,but even when we make out before bed, it stays far too PG for my liking. But he’s open with his affection, in publicandprivate, so I appreciate that he makes sure it’s not only for the façade.
Physical touch seems more important to him, but he’s always willing to ask for what he needs rather than expecting me to adapt overnight.
As much as I’m beginning to be a big fan of those mundane intimacies, like holding hands and kissing goodbye, I’ve enjoyed the pleasures of sexual intimacies for a long time.
Knowing what sex is like with Liam while living with him and not having it is torture. All of his stupid kisses and morning cuddles only makes it worse—especially when his dick wakes up way before he does. It’s a constant reminder of how it felt to have him between my legs.
So when he mentioned going to Lucas and Knox’s, I told him it was a great idea. It was the closest I’ve ever gotten to begging him for anything.
Go! Leave! Stay a few hours and linger at the goodbyes.
I saw an opportunity to unwind, so I’m taking full advantage of it.
After I got home, I quickly fed Rosie and left her downstairs with the back door open. Then I went upstairs to take a long, needed bubble bath. I’m a big fan of them. They aren’t something I do regularly but a few times a year when I’m desperate to relax.
During that hour, I caught up on the book club of the month’s pick. Lexi, Vivi, and I started the club a few years ago, then fell out of routine. We recently reestablished it and invited Blake to join.
Vivi always chooses a contemporary romance novel, usually her most anticipated upcoming indie release. Out of us all, she reads the most and on a regular basis. Lexi’s picks range from classics likeFrankensteinto political fantasieslikeBabel.Everything she chooses is great, but we had to start giving her a page limit. Blake likes women’s fiction and memoirs.
This month, I got to choose.
Before book club, I wasn’t the most avid reader. I always did well in school, but I never read for pleasure. I didn’t really know what I wanted to choose first when we started this years ago. After strolling through the bookstore for a bit, I came across a hilarious, pleasant little section labeledMonster Romance.
Obviously I had to choose that. We started with the blue aliens, which seems to be a lot of people’s introduction to monster smut.
Since then, I’ve pretty much always stayed on theme. Because of how short a lot of the books are, I usually have to find a series so we can read two or three of them.
Now, I am fully dry, lotioned, and naked on my bed.
The blue aliens surprisingly do something for me, but they’re not on my mind today.
Over the last month and a half, very little has been, other than Liam fucking Maddon. That infuriatingly gorgeous, tattooed man who I can’t seem to get away from for more than a few hours at a time.
With how quickly things happened last week, I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about what all sharing a space with Liam entails. For example, it’s difficult to find time to pleasure myself.
Especially when my personal wet dream is walking around my house, shirtless. Sleeping in my bed, cooking dinner with me, kissing me.
Everything except fucking me.
I have a couple more hours totake careof myself, and I’m shamelessly imagining the man I’m fake dating.
Opening my bedside drawer, I grab my rose vibrator instead of the pastel pink dildo. It doesn’t have Liam’s lengthor girth, and I fear it will only make my frustration stronger tonight.
There’s only one cock I want inside of me and I’m so wound up, I doubt it will take long anyway.
