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“See, we knew that Azarov had been up to some… shadier business—and that I’m afraid I can’t tell you about. So we discussed the deal he’d brought to us, under the guise of uniting the families to strengthen us.”
“This is a lot,” she mumbled. “Whatever happened to falling in love, and getting married the old-fashioned way?”
“I can’t say I don’t agree with you on that, but even in the MC, some alliances are made out of marriages, so it’s proof it still happens.”
Pushing her hair out of her face, I drew strength from her beauty. I would never have thought it was possible to do, but she was what I was fighting so hard for, so it was.
“It’s no secret that Donna and Makar are skilled at finding a target’s weakness, and exploiting it to get the deal they want. We’ve even used their skills ourselves. They would be a lot stronger if they weren’t so shit at business and spending money.”
I didn’t miss how her lips pressed together whenever I mentioned Donna’s name, but there was no way around it.
Kissing her gently, I whispered, “I’m sorry, malysh, if I could spare you this, I would. But I want you to understand, and also to trust me.”
I’d expected her to tell me just to continue, but she shocked me by reaching up to hold my face in place as she kissed me, slightly more fiercely than I’d just done to her. “Don’t you know, Taras, I trust you with our sons’ lives. It doesn’t get much deeper than that for a mother.”
“They’re my sons, too, though.” I tapped her gently on the nose, grinning when she winked at me.
“Anyway, we were able to piece together that they were exploiting our businesses and our potential enemies, to target my father. The business we could recover from, and the other Bratvas we probably could have smoothed over with some work, but they would have caused some deaths, all the same.”
“Oh, my God. That’s disgusting.”
I had to remember how little she knew about the real workings of her own family’s MC. I kept forgetting that she’d only been allowed a glimpse of what they did, and that she likely had no idea about where they got a majority of their money from.
“Unfortunately, that’s how you stay strong. If you know people’s vulnerable spots, you know where to strike, before they strike you. But, in this instance, they were exploiting and targeting my heart when they went after you and the Road Kings.”
“Taras,” she breathed, her expression softening as she leaned her forehead against mine.
“I’m not saying that to make you feel better. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. Donna found my ultimate weakness and attacked it.”
Not moving away from me, she opened her eyes. “How do you know it was her?”
“We’ve found out stuff since that’s proven it, but we had enough to go on at the time to conclude it,” I hedged.
“After we laid everything out and looked it over, I decided I’d send you to the Bahamas to remove you from the situation. In case the wedding fell through, and shit exploded—literally.”
Deciding we weren’t close enough for the final part, I picked her up, and placed her on my lap. “When we agreed to the marriage, I took Donna aside, and told her it wouldn’t be the marriage she was planning. I wouldn’t be reciting the normal vows, we wouldn’t be living in the same home, and I wouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed as her. Ever.”
I hadn’t felt it initially, but as I said the last part, Nell’s body sank, like she’d finally allowed herself to relax.
“You said to me you’d had a test to make sure you hadn’t gotten any sexually transmitted diseases from me, and that’s been haunting me, malysh. I hate you had to go through that, and that it hurt you like that. I wish I’d been able to tell you that as soon as you came into my life, the rest of the world stopped existing for me.”
The first sob burst out of her, catching me by surprise, and then she turned and buried her face in my neck for the ones that followed it.
Every tear, every whimper, I felt down to my soul, kicking myself for ever hurting her, and for putting her in the situation where she was.
“I’m so sorry, moye serdste. If I could—”
“No,” she croaked, shaking her head, and accidentally brushing her wet cheek against mine.
“I can’t just turn off the feelings like a switch, so I can’t tell you I’m over it. But understanding it’s helping. I wish we could go back and change it all, but that’s not the way life works.”
No, it wasn’t, and God knows I’d wished for the same thing.
I could help her understand it more, though.
