I wait one second longer than I should, then walk to the door.
My hand closes around the knob.
“Kaia.”
She does not look at me.
I swallow whatever I was going to say.
Nothing I have tried tonight has made this better.
I step into the hallway and close the door quietly behind me.
Then I lean back against it.
On the other side, Kaia is crying because of me.
I lower my head and close my eyes.
I went into a burning house without hesitation. I got her out alive.
Somehow, I still found a way to hurt her.
Chapter 5
Kaia
Foroneblissfulsecondafter I wake, I do not remember where I am.
Then I open my eyes to dark wooden furniture, unfamiliar walls, and a pillow that smells faintly of laundry detergent, and everything comes back at once.
The smoke. The fire. My house.
Pressure builds behind my eyes before I can stop it, and I turn my face into the pillow, pressing my lips together hard enough to hurt.
Almost everything I owned is gone.
My car is probably fine, but the rest of it is another story.
The clothes I held onto for years because I kept telling myself I would wear them on special occasions. The paintings stacked against the spare-room wall. The ridiculous orange cushions my mother surely would have hated. The little ceramic bowlJoyce gave me after graduation. Every ordinary thing I stopped noticing because I assumed it would still be there tomorrow.
My throat tightens, and for a moment I let myself feel it.
Then I breathe.
I left home once with everything I owned packed into a car and a tiny trailer. I built something new after that, piece by piece, badly matched picture frame by badly matched picture frame.
I can do it again.
The thought does not magically fix anything. My chest still hurts, and I still want to cry over a fern named Ivy, but I can start over.
I know how.
Unfortunately, that thought leads directly to another memory.
Zain’s mouth on mine.
Heat climbs my face before I am even fully awake, and I close my eyes again.
