CHAPTER13
It was Friday night, and Abbie had invited her best friend Megan for a girls night in: booze, pizza, dessert, and movies.The three days at work had dragged Abbie down under stacks of paperwork and distraction.
But the last few nights had been lonesome and full of tears and ice cream.
Tonight, she needed her best friend, and Abbie had bought a couple extra bottles of wine for the evening.There was a convention tomorrow that Abbie was attending as a vendor, and she still needed to do some prep before bed.
“You really miss him, don’t you?”Megan took a sip of her white wine and pushed the bottle closer to Abbie.Abbie’s own glass was almost empty.Again.
“No, not really.”She poured more wine.Abbie had cleaned off her kitchen table before Megan came over, but really, she’d just moved the stacks of mail and random nonsense to the counter instead.
“Liar.”
Abbie sighed.The strained goodbye with Derek had been brief, but she could have sworn she saw him hesitate before he’d closed her car door.It didn’t matter.
“Fine, I miss him.But that was always going to happen.”
“True.Spend a weekend with a hot guy and you miss the sex.But do you miss the sex, or do you misshim?”
Megan asked the question Abbie had been avoiding for the last few days.Abbie continued to avoid it.Denial might not be a river in Egypt, but Abbie had zero problem navigating it.“Does it matter?”
“Oh, Abbie.”Megan shook her head but didn’t say anything else.
She did miss him, of course, but her fear of that level of scrutiny was more than enough for her to keep clear of Derek.There were only so many times a person could hear they don’t measure up before they decide not to bother trying.
“Have you texted him?”Megan got up to grab the plate of cupcakes she’d brought over and sat back down across from Abbie.
“It’s only been a few days.No, I haven’t.”Abbie took another long drink of her wine and started on one of the cupcakes.
“Has he texted you?”Megan was too smart for her own good.
“Only to say he had a great time and to thank me.”
“And you didn’t reply?”
“What am I going to say?‘Thanks for the best sex of my life, sorry you’re a movie star and I’m not but I’ll miss your cock forever?’”It was true, she would miss the sex.Though Abbie would miss the way Derek made her feel confident, safe, sexy, and like what she wanted or didn’t want was valid.
He never once made her feel like she wasn’t enough.
“It’d be a good place to start!”
Abbie waved her hand in the air.“Oh, don’t be ridiculous.I’m not going to text him.I’m not going to be that girl.”
“Here we go again with the ‘that girl’ nonsense.”
“It’s not nonsense!I don’t have to have a meltdown just because I’m not dating a guy.”Abbie finished the first cupcake and started in on a second.Abbie was excellent with cookies, but she was no match for Megan’s cupcakes.She swore up and down that Megan put crack in them.
“First off, no woman wants to be the one to have a breakdown after a breakup, so stop it with the ‘that girl’ bullshit, okay?It’s a lie fed to us by movies, and you know it.I’ll forgive it this time because you’re drunk and heartbroken.”
Abbie just huffed in response.“I’m not drunk.”She couldn’t get too drunk; she still had to prep for the convention tomorrow.
Megan reached across the small table and grabbed Abbie’s hand.“But, Abbie, sweetie, it’s me.You know you can tell me literally anything.Could there have been something more between you two?”
“Pfft.I don’t know.Maybe.”Abbie waved her hand and tried to dismiss what Megan said.There was no way she’d admit to anyone there was an excellent possibility that Derek could have been the love of her life, and she’d let him go.“I wouldn’t even know what to say to him now.”
Megan grabbed Abbie’s hand.“You could start with ‘Hi, that was a great weekend.I miss you.’”
“He belongs with someone from that world.Someone who can keep up with his lifestyle – the constant moving and the months apart and movie premieres and whatever.That’s not me.”
