CHAPTER10
Megan’s room was too small. The entire night she kept opening her eyes and imagined the walls getting closer and closer. Finally, she left the bedside light on, hoping for actual sleep.
Even with the claustrophobic illusion handled, Megan barely slept.
There was too much information and emotion roiling through her to be able to rest. She’d eventually forgive Tucker for his stupid older-brother-protection bullshit. Keyword there was ‘eventually.’ For now, he would remain firmly on her shit list. Irritating, overbearing, boundary-crossing, protective moron.
But the real pain that kept her awake was Caleb. Megan had spent literal years wondering what would have happened if she’d told him how she felt. There was no way to know what could have happened if she hadn’t been so afraid of rejection.
She’d always thought herself too much of a coward. Even after she’d seen him at random times after that first summer night together, she’d mentally kicked herself for doing and saying nothing.
Instead, she’d come to find out Caleb was just as cowardly. Oh sure, he’d sleep with her in secret, but wouldn’t fight for her – wouldn’t take that risk against Tucker.
If he wouldn’t do it, why should she? If Caleb had never thought she was worth the risk of Tucker finding out and making good on whatever threat, then why should Megan bother with him at all anymore?
She would have to wash her hands of Caleb and any notion of a romantic relationship she might have developed over the last few days. She’d been such a fool this whole week.
Megan waited until the clock showed seven in the morning before she dressed and went to the kitchen for coffee. It was going to be a long day, and she’d need as much caffeine as possible to get through the rehearsal this afternoon.
One small blessing was being partnered with Tyler for the procession. No reason to even have to look at Caleb today.
She found Rebecca in the kitchen, a frown on her brow as she scribbled furiously on a sheet of paper. “Morning,” Megan said.
“Hi,” was all Rebecca said.
Megan made her coffee and stood at the island across from Rebecca. “Do you need help with anything?”
“I think I have it under control,” Rebecca started. “But I wouldn’t mind having some company.” Rebecca smiled at Megan, and Megan realized how in her own head she’d gotten over the last few days. She’d love to spend her morning with her cousin.
Grateful for the excuse to get out of the house and spend the time with Rebecca, Megan decided to spoil them both. “I’m in. And I’m buying us some more coffee. Because this” – she motioned to her mug and at the half-full one by Rebecca’s arm – “is nowhere near what we’ll need to get everything done on that list.”
Two hours later, Rebecca pulled her SUV into the driveway of the farmhouse. They were able to get everything on Rebecca’s list except for safety pins, but Megan had brought some with her.
As Megan and Rebecca unloaded the bags from the car to the spacious living room, Theresa and Ainsley came in to help. Megan was going to stay and help organize but Rebecca ordered her to take a nap.
“The girls and I have it under control. Go get some sleep.”
Ainsley’s head perked up from the bag she was sorting at that, eyes narrowed for a second before saying, “Don’t forget to set an alarm!” Her tone and smile had never been more fake cheery.
Megan ignored the not-so-subtle dig and climbed the stairs. She did set an alarm but not because of Ainsley.
The moment her head hit the pillow, exhaustion won and pulled Megan into a fitful sleep.
Too quickly, the alarm blared, and Megan smacked it off. The last thing she wanted to do was stand in a beautiful church and watch two people madly in love with each other practice their promise to fight for each other and their marriage, to put each other above all else. And to do it while standing a few feet from Caleb so soon after everything had come to light was a special kind of torment.
But the next almost forty-eight hours were not about Megan or her broken heart. She refused to be so selfish. She took a deep breath and pulled herself out of bed. Her broken heart could wait until Sunday when she was home.
Until then, blinders on.
