Heat steals across my cheeks as I shrug. But a smile slips into the corner of my mouth. "It would be hard not to notice how you look at Ralph—or how he looks at you. All of you. Or how James looks at Zeke, or how Zeke looks at Seb. It's… beautiful." Wistful warmth floods my chest.
Allen lowers himself onto the bed next to Seb. His eyes are locked on my face. "Some people in your situation might be… jealous?"
My lips purse as I glance away. "I mean… you guys aretotalrelationship goals. I guess… maybe in the sense that… I don't know. I… Idowish someone looked at me like that. Like you look at each other… it's just so obvious how much you all care about each other—and you all seem to really like caring.
"But… uh, I'm really sorry if I'm missing something or overstepping or saying something wrong… but you… you don't seem to, like, ask for a whole lot of care yourselves? And it isn't like I had to miss out on anything because you feel that way about each other. It's like… I dunno. But it just… it feels… right."
I hate that I don't know how to put it into words.
Allen's eyes are crinkled at the corners. His gaze is warm, but there's something tense and brittle lurking behind it.
My teeth graze my bottom lip. Part of me wants to pull him into the cuddle, but… "You can't turn the worry off, can you?"
He shakes his head. "No." A hint of a wry grin tugs at his mouth.
"Are… are you worried he'll wake up and need something?"
His eyes drop away from my face. "He's a grown man."
A quirk jumps into my left eyebrow. "That's not a no…"
The chuckle that escapes from Allen's chest is quiet. But he doesn't say anything.
"You should go back to him… do you want to be there when he wakes up?"
Large, warm fingers slip into my hand, squeezing my palm. Allen's hand brushes across my cheek again. It pulls a blooming warmth through my core.
"I can't wait to get to know you better, Dellie." Allen's voice is lower than before, the low rumble pulling my eyes closed for a moment. He gives my hand another gentle squeeze. He opens his mouth, as if he's about to say something else; but then he shuts it and stands and walks towards the door. He glances back at the four of us on the bed, biting his lip, then steps out of the room, closing the door behind him.
There's warmth flooding my chest, but also urgency. And frustration. But not just the kind I've been riding all night; my omega is tugging at my centre, determined to make sure these alphas understand. Although I can't put into words what she needs them to understand; and I'm not quite sure I do myself, either.
The bed creaks as James shuffles closer to me, guiding Zeke to come with him. "Mulling?"
I nod. "I just… I hate not being able to find the words, you know?"
James opens his mouth like he wants to say something, then closes it again. He frowns slightly as he stares resolutely at the wall.
Zeke lifts his head. "The words you couldn't find… were they about why you weren't feeling jealous?"
"Yeah. It just feels… right. I know I said that before, but it does. Seeing you… look after each other."
There's a squeeze against my shoulders as Seb's arm tightens around me, his fingers gently stroking my collarbone. "Like there's even more for you because they—I mean, we—have what we need?" he mumbles into my hair.
"Mmmm." I don't want to say that part out loud. I don't want to be greedy—really, I don't want them to think of me as greedy. But the truth of it is, I reallyamgreedy like that, even if I don't want to admit it. Shame floods through my chest.
"That's how I felt. Almost as soon as I met them." Seb pulls away gently, and tilts my head towards him. Warmth is flitting across his face as he smiles at me.
This isn't supposed to feel like this. Not with a pack who are supposed to just be for a one-night—at most, a one-heat stand.
I glance away, awkwardly, mentally backing away from whatever it was I was circling. "How did you guys meet each other, anyway?"
Sebastian strokes my back idly. "Allen went to college with Cl—uh, Ralph, at UCLA. They did undergrad economics together before Allen went off to do psych and Ralph did his MBA. And James was in a frat with Ralph for a while."
There's a growl from James. "It wasnotafrat. It was shared student housing on campus."
"What's the difference? Frats aren't really a thing in Australia."
Seb shrugs. "Fewer parents in politics, not as many spin doctors and less hush money. Anyway, James and Ralph and Allen packed up early on. Then one day, James got a call from the Olympic rowing squad. Their up-and-coming star on the scull needed a physio, and apparently the team's normal physio was on maternity leave and their backup physio was arrested for drunk driving. So James got the call. And apparently, him and Ralph and Allen decided the pack needed a grumpy bastard—"
