The words hit her like a slap. She looked at his face for any sign that he didn’t mean them, that the man from the past weeks was still there behind his cold mask. She saw nothing.
And then she understood. She could coax smiles from him. She could share his bed. But his griefs, the things that truly broke him, he would carry alone, the way he always had. He had let her closer than he had let anyone, and it still was not far enough. She had thought she was tearing down his walls. All this time, he had only opened a door, and now he had shut it.
“Very well,” she said quietly. “I will go.”
Chapter 28
The morning after the chaos felt too quiet and sunny to be real.
Madeline had not slept at all. She had lain awake in the bed she shared with Kenneth, except he had not come to her.
Malcolm had not come home either. He and Roberta had walked out together the night before, while the rest of them sat frozen at the table. No one had seen him since. Madeline could only imagine where he had gone, and that Roberta would be filling his head with more lies while they were together.
That was not even the part that hurt the most. It was Kenneth. She had spent weeks learning how to reach him, coaxing him open little by little, and the moment he was truly wounded, he shut her out and chose to bear it alone. He had let her into his bed, but not into his pain. Their physical intimacy had not been enough to bring down his walls after all.
Alas, she had no time to dwell on that. There were two children at the breakfast table who needed her.
“Where is Papa?” Emily asked, her small voice sounding anxious.
The little girl was not fidgeting as she usually did. Instead, she copied Madeline’s rigid posture, her hand holding a fork, although her eggs seemed to be completely untouched. Her eyes flicked back and forth to the empty chairs around the table.
Beside her, Alexander poked at his food with his fork. He seemed so preoccupied with his breakfast. Instead of prancing about and making trouble, he simply looked defeated, and it broke Madeline’s heart.
Madeline reminded herself of her role. These children had no mother to turn to, so she had to be strong for them. She made herself smile, though her cheeks ached with the effort of it.
“Your Papa has likely spent the night out if he is not in his bedchamber sleeping a bit later.”
“He is probably drinking again,” Alex muttered, his voice dull. He sounded completely unsurprised. He let his fork clatter onto his plate. Then, he crossed his arms over his chest, his face looking as stubborn as his father’s had been the night before. “He promised that he would not do it again. He promised that he would do better.”
“Alex, look at me, please,” Madeline said softly but firmly.
Madeline waited quietly, not speaking until the boy finally looked up with a resentful glare. She could see the bitter disappointment in his eyes.
“Your father is fine,” Madeline reassured him, hoping that she sounded fully certain. “I promise you that he is completely fine. He simply needs to discuss some family matters that are not fitfor children to hear. Once he has cleared his head, he will return home. You have done nothing wrong.”
“Yes, Aunt Maddy,” Emily said, trying to keep calm even as her lower lip trembled. “Still, he could have told us that he would be away.”
“I do agree with you, Emily. However, I believe that your father just needs some time to think. Now, I want the two of you to promise me something.”
Madeline hated having to lie to the children, but she felt there was no other option. The truth was too painful. It was obvious that their mother came not for them but for revenge. To dismantle the little peace that Malcolm and the children were finally gaining.Perhaps she was after money as well. If she had truly come for her children, she would have insisted on seeing them at the very least.
“What kind of promise?” Alexander asked warily, his brow furrowing with confusion.
“I want your word that, despite not feeling up to it, you will both head for the schoolroom to attend to your lessons immediately after breakfast,” Madeline said, as she held the two pairs of eyes watching her. “Your tutor has spent much time putting together the lesson for today. Please pay him attention.”
“I promise, Aunt Maddy,” Emily said softly.
“How about you, Alexander?” Madeline asked.
The boy exhaled heavily, sounding defeated. Still, Madeline was thankful for the way his shoulders relaxed for even a fraction. She had managed to distract him from his main concern: his father.
“Fine,” he mumbled. “I promise to go to the schoolroom and do my best. And I promise not to swear.”
“Excellent,” Madeline praised, clapping her hands together. “Now, please finish your breakfast before you leave.”
“Yes, Aunt Maddy,” both children said in unison.
After breakfast, Madeline adjusted the skirts of her morning gown to wish the children good luck as they headed to the schoolroom. She made sure to give them an encouraging nod. As soon as the children were out of sight, her smile disappeared. It was getting harder to maintain her cheer as everything from the night before came crashing down on her.
