And Effie… Goodness.
A sickening feeling shot through her, but this time, it wasn’t the dizzying rush of blood to her head or the almost gleeful tumble in her stomach. It was a rock sinking into her, calcifying in her bowels.
How naïve she had been to believe everything would go according to plan.
What will happen when it all falls apart?
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
In the following days, Beatrice saw very little of her father. She hoped he was keeping to himself after acting like such a fool that everyone in the castle was talking about him.
“I ken he only wants what’s best for ye, lassie,” her mother said, but her voice lacked conviction.
“He wants what’s best for himself,” Beatrice scoffed.
Her mother’s answer was a long, heavy sigh.
He doesnae even want what’s best for ye, Ma. He made his bed and refuses to lie in it.
Instead of wasting her thoughts and time on what her father might be doing, or where he might be lurking and drinking, Beatrice spent the bright, chilly days playing with Effie as she brought her and Eloise around the castle. She told them allabout the stories she invented and the games she made up when she was much younger and didn’t know any other children.
“Do ye have friends here?” Eloise asked.
“Aye. Me father lets the wee ones from the village come to the castle and play with me,” Effie replied. “I’d be lonely if he didnae.”
Violet appeared and disappeared randomly. Some days, she was around a lot to talk and tag along. Other days, not even Leo knew where she was.
She’s like a feral cat.
Beatrice liked that about her, the way she lived and moved of her own accord. Not being bound to anything seemed like a beautiful way to exist. Coming and going as one pleased.
Even Effie was more tethered to time and place than Violet. The servants tended to know where she had squirreled off to, and Beatrice began to realize that she could be easily found if she was with the little girl.
“At first, I just thought it was because Leo didnae want me near her,” she told Eloise. “That could still be part of it, though.”
“The lassie loves ye too much for him nae to want ye to play with her,” Eloise said, but the unspoken hung between them.
I daenae need to tell her that Leo’s protecting his daughter.She can see that as clearly as I do. Besides, I cannae blame him for it.
Every moment with Effie was more painful than the last. The girl was opening up about so much that sometimes Beatrice wanted to cup her small, beautiful face in her hands and tell her that she needed to hate her, that she needed to be angry with her before Beatrice's disappearance turned her bitter.
I’ll never forgive meself for this.Leo will never forgive me either. Nor will he ever forgive himself.
She considered talking to Leo about it, though she had no idea where to even start. He was a hard man to speak to and had been so protective of Effie from the start that she knew he wouldn’t take well to any suggestions. But she had to bring it up, eventually.
One late afternoon, she made her way to his study, feeling sweaty and weak with nerves as she knocked on the door.
“Aye, come in, lad,” Leo bellowed.
Beatrice was stunned at how cheerful he sounded.
Well, he doesnae ken it’s me. That much is obvious.
When she poked her head around the door and smiled at him, his face dropped. He didn’t seem angry or upset to see her, buthe did seem startled by the sight of the woman he had agreed to marry begging entry to his study.
“I didnae mean to bother ye, Leo,” she began as she stepped inside. “I just wanted to talk to ye about somethin'.”
“Is it yer drunkard of a father? There’s nay need to talk about him.”
