Chapter 25
Growing up Sam tried not to think about his parents too much once they were gone. They were at the center of everything he lost, a painful brightness that hurt his eyes, all the good in his life he could never get back. But he could never forget the good feeling of being with them, the warmth and the security.
After they were gone, he made so few good memories until he met Wyatt. But how long before memories were all he had of him too.
He was already hurting just from the thought of Wyatt leaving. When it actually happened, he knew it would tear him to pieces.
He could always choose to leave first. Why let Wyatt do this to him? Sam could pick any other place to go to, why not? Another job waiting tables, another rented room somewhere. Could he do it, leave Wyatt and those boys? He didn't think he could, not even to save himself.
Sam couldn't figure out any way to spare himself the pain. He couldn't even figure out if he might manage to eat something. That's when he got the call from Wyatt.
He must have decided that a hunger strike wasn't good enough. Sam thought about not answering, but he knew he would regret not hearing Wyatt's voice at least one more time today.
On his third try, Sam answered his phone to hear Wyatt's deep, urgent voice. "I need to talk to you. Now or after dinner, whenever you want. I'll ask Lara to watch the kids and I'll come to you. I'll meet you anywhere you want."
Sam groaned. He didn't want to cause all that disruption. "You don't need to do that. I'll come over there," he told him knowing that it was the only way to stop him.
"You sure?" Wyatt asked.
"Yes. I'll be there soon," Sam said curtly then he hung up and just stared at his phone. Did he just agree to go see Wyatt? Damn it, he had no willpower at all.
One minute he was swearing off spending time with Wyatt then the next thing he knew he was buying ingredients for chicken Marsala and linguine and taking them over to Wyatt's house so he could make him dinner.
In all seriousness, Sam had to wonder if he had a self-destructive streak. Even knowing it would hurt him once he left, he couldn't stay away from Wyatt.
It was all Wyatt's fault. He was too tempting to give up -- handsome, funny, strong but gentle and loving. Sam wanted to be with him as long as he could.
Could he do that, just enjoy his time with Wyatt even if it was coming to an end, not dwell on the future, on losing him? Sam doubted it, but he just couldn't stay away from Wyatt even if he ended up breaking his heart.
Driving to Wyatt's then going up to his door. Sam took a few deep breaths then got ready to knock. He got as far as raising his hand. The door opened to Wyatt smiling uncertainly, dogs jumping and barking, and boys chattering.
"Hi everyone," Sam said and tried not to pay any more attention to Wyatt than he did to the dogs or the furniture.
"Can I take those?" Wyatt asked and nodded toward his shopping bags, but Sam shook his head and walked past him with the boys and the dogs leading the way into the kitchen.
The dogs went straight for the back door and Wyatt saw that as a signal that they needed to go out. The boys went out with them, and Sam and Wyatt were left alone. This was when they should have flown at each other for a proper greeting -- a passionate embrace while breathlessly saying how much they missed each other between hot kisses.
Just thinking about it caused the pain inside Sam to put down deeper roots. Turning away from that gorgeous source of his pain, Sam set down the shopping bags on the counter.
He would focus on cooking nothing more, but first he wanted to make one thing clear to Wyatt. He braced himself then turned to face him. "I'm here to visit with those guys and those guys," Sam said while pointing at the boys and the dogs playing outside on the back porch. "Not you." He glared at Wyatt then turned back to the shopping bags and started pulling things out and setting them on the counter noisily.
"Can I help?" Wyatt asked as he hovered.
"You can help and learn. I'm making chicken Marsala, but I'm only putting the wine sauce on ours," Sam informed him.
"OK. I'm ready to work," Wyatt said.
"Good. Pay attention. This is how you wash mushrooms," Sam told him.
"I guess you know that I like mushrooms," Wyatt said while standing too close and watching what Sam was doing.
"You ordered a dish with mushrooms at Lenny & Lou's Barbeque, so you figured you didn't hate them," Sam told him. He didn't want to admit that he was paying attention to Wyatt's likes and dislikes.
"So you hate me, but you're cooking me some of my favorite food?" Wyatt needled him.
Sam refused to admit anything. "It's a coincidence."
"What? You just said..."
