The whole time, Rob had made sure to keep his eyes off Julian. That wasn't easy. Rob just wanted to go up to him, take him in his arms as proof that last night meant something.
Rob got snacks for the kids and came back to see them making airplanes. In the meantime, Julian had gone back to his office. Staring toward his office door, Rob wondered if he should go over there, see if he was needed. While he was trying to make up his mind, Rico came over to him.
"Why are you hovering over here? We can keep an eye on the kids. Get in there," Rico told him.
"You giving me orders?" Rob asked him.
Of course Rico said, "Yes."
The kids were sending their planes flying all over the library then chasing them down with Lenny's help. They didn't seem to need him at the moment, but that didn't mean he was going to take orders from Rico.
Rico tried again. "Fine. Call it advice, if you want. You were talking about Jules not needing you. Get in there and make sure he can't live without you."
"Why are you pushing me at Julian. I didn't know you were that fond of me," Rob said while eying him questioningly.
"You, pft. You need to stay here for those other two. I'm not dealing with a lonely, heartbroken Jules. I refuse to mop up after you. I have my own man to keep happy," Rico told him and then walked away. Every chance he got he bragged about him and Mitch.
When Rico went off, Rob expected him to go do some work, but instead of going to help his man, he was going into Julian's office. If Rob wasn't avoiding being alone with Julian, he would drag Rico right out of there by the scruff of his neck.
Left to mull over what Rico said, Rob wondered if there was some truth in it. Rob hated to think Julian might end up lonely, but he couldn't push himself on him either.
That morning Rob had woken up alone. Sometimes in the early morning hours, Julian had left. That was a lonely feeling.
After holding him for most of the night, Rob missed his warmth, his arm and leg over him, his beard rubbing against him softly. The blanket Julian had put over him before leaving was no substitute.
That's why he couldn't go and talk to Julian alone. If he did, he might just blurt out, "I need to wake up with you, or I'll never feel right in my own skin again."
He had to stay away from Julian until the urge to say crap like that passed. But was that ever going to happen?
Rob now knew what it felt like to dance with Julian, to fuck him, to sleep with him on the floor, but it wasn't enough. All the time he wanted more.
