I shook his hand. “Nice to meet ya, Hobbs. My name’s Dex.”
“Hobson,” he corrected and I ignored. “Nice to meet you, sir.”
“You can check out the house. I’m getting some cereal.”
I left him to do whatever butlers do and I poured myself a giant bowl of cereal and shoveled it into my mouth while I watched the sports highlights on the massive TV. I didn’t really pay much attention to what the people on the tube were saying because I was busy thinking about everything that happened to me. I got hit by a bus and died. I woke up a ghost. I met a man with a closet full of bodies and a ton of money. I was offered a job as an Escort—a Death Escort. And for accepting I got a new body, a new car, a new house, and a pocket full of money. It was all pretty awesome, minus the glasses and the whole killing part. But I wouldn’t think about that now. Right now I was enjoying the fact I had somewhere warm to sleep and food in my stomach. Tomorrow would have to wait.
After I’d slurped the last of the milk from my fourth bowl of cereal, sometime during the football highlights, I fell asleep.
* * *
For a man, there’s nothing better to wake up to than the smell of bacon and coffee. Okay, maybe there was something else, but bacon was a really close second.
I opened my eyes and for a moment I had to think about where I was. I was athome.On my couch, where I fell asleep in my khakis and sweater vest. I stretched and sat up, looking over my shoulder toward the kitchen where Hobbs was frying up some bacon.
I stumbled toward the island and pulled out a stool.
“Coffee.” I groaned.
Moments later, a steaming cup of dark liquid appeared under my nose. I took a big sip, grimacing at the strong taste. I never was a huge fan of coffee, but I liked its warmth.
Hobbs noticed my face and reached for my mug. Out of habit, I snatched it back, wrapping both my hands around it protectively. He said nothing but went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle with a blue lid. He popped the top and poured some of the liquid into my cup, still in my death grip, and then plopped in a spoon. I looked at the drink suspiciously before giving it a stir, then taking a small sip.
I never thought much about heaven, but once I swallowed, I decided this is what it must be like.
I grabbed up the little bottle with a blue lid and studied at the label.Salted Caramel Mocha Coffee Creamer.I’d never had coffee creamer before, but I decided it was my new favorite food.
“We need more of this,” I said, taking another huge gulp of my brew.
“I’ll add it to the shopping list, sir,” Hobbs said as he placed a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast in front of me. I dug in with gusto.
Hobbs lifted his eyebrow. “Your fork is not a shovel.”
“I don’t pay you to tell me how to eat.”
Hobbs made a sniffing sound and turned away.
“We need more of this, too. You cook real good, Hobbs.”
“Hobson. Thank you, sir.”
He made a note on a piece of paper on the counter. “Anything else, sir?”
“Pizza, pancakes, donuts, and meat.”
As I chewed I watched Hobbs write more on his paper, then I paused. “Aren’t you gonna eat?”
Hobbs glanced at me. “Usually the help doesn’t eat with the master of the home.”
“Pull up a chair, Hobbs,” I said, kicking out a stool next to me.
He hesitated, then filled a plate with food and sat beside me. I got up and poured some more coffee and creamer into my mug, waving him down when he started to rise. Having a butler was unnerving. Was I supposed to just sit here while he served me? I was used to doing everything for myself so that seemed a little weird. Not that I wouldn’t let him cook, clean, and do my laundry, mind you.
Speaking of clothes… I needed some.
I finished my breakfast and left a pile of money on the counter for Hobbs’s shopping, and I drove to the mall.
Buying clothes seemed like a better idea than trying to come up with ways to kill someone.
