I stroked the tattoo on my wrist and thought of Stace. The tattoo was a reminder of her offer to call her and listen to her story. I realized that it was the perfect moment for a story. I shut my computer down and called her.
“Hey, Faith. How have you been?” she asked. Her voice was full of concern, revealing she knew what had happened between me and Trent.
“I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me the story of you and Taze? Get my mind off all my drama for a while?”
“About damned time,” she exclaimed. I heard her get up and mumble to Taze, I assumed, that she would be right back.
“I’m glad you called. I really hope my story helps you with your reservations about Kill. I know you two love each other, and I really want things to work out for the both of you. Okay, enough with the lecturing. You called for a story, and I promised to give you one. So, I'm sure you’ve noticed how different Taze and I are.”
I laughed thinking of Miss Prim and Pink standing next to Mr. Tatted and Dangerous.
"I think I noticed something along those lines."
“Haha, good to know your sense of humor remains intact. Anyway, when I was born my dad had really wanted a boy. When I came out, to say he’d been disappointed is the understatement of the year. My mom’s pregnancy with me had been high risk, and the doctors had to give her an emergency hysterectomy right after I was born. Ensuring no more biological children."
“My parents were doctors, and I, being their only child, had been expected to become a doctor as well. At least until I met my husband, who would also be a doctor of course, and then settle down and give them male grandchildren."
She let out a bitter laugh before continuing. "I never questioned the plan they’d laid out for me. My parents made every decision for me, and I’d gone along without question. Honestly, when I submitted to their rules, it had been the only time my dad could stand to look at me. By following their guidelines, my gender was less of a failure. I’d been considered somewhat worthy when I’d fit into the plans my dad had made for me. I studied hard and graduated as valedictorian of my class. While I was in school my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer.” Stace’s voice quivered and I could tell she was struggling with her emotions.
“I’d visited her at the hospital every day, doing my homework on her bed just to be near her. While there, I’d seen how involved the nurses were with her, as opposed to the doctors. Not that the doctors hadn’t been amazing with my mom, but the nurses fascinated me.
“My mom and I talked for hours during that time. She apologized to me for not taking a stand against my dad sooner and made me promise to start living my life the way I wanted to. I argued with her, telling her what I was doing was what I wanted most, but she’d shaken her head, knowing it wasn’t true. One night when my mom had fallen asleep, I’d needed some fresh air and snuck onto the hospital roof. I needed to escape from the antiseptic smell for just a second and grab some alone time to get my thoughts in order. But I hadn’t been alone. When I’d first saw Taze, his arms covered in tattoos, wearing torn jeans and motorcycle boots, I’d turned away. I wanted to get as far away from him as I could, but then noticed he was crying and the sound stopped me in my tracks."
I sucked in a breath as I pictured Taze all alone and crying on the roof of a hospital. He’d seemed like such a happy-go-lucky guy every time I’d seen him, and it made me happy Stace found him when she did.
"I don't know what had compelled me, but I went over and asked if he was okay. He looked up at me, and at first I’d been afraid he was going to hurt me. I’d started to back up, but he grabbed me and hugged me burying his head in my neck and sobbed. All thoughts of escaping had vanished, and I held him until he was done. Afterward, we’d sat on the roof and talked until the sun came up. His grandfather had just passed away, when I’d found him. I told him that my mom was dying of cancer. We talked about everything, and it was magical. He’d had a way of making me feel like I was worth something just by being me. When we’d gotten kicked off the roof by an orderly, I figured I would never see him again. The next day, he stood outside my classroom, holding a cup of coffee. He was so persistent.” Stace laughed, and I laughed along with her.
“I’d been so scared to let him in. Even though I knew I’d fallen in love with him that night on the roof. I just couldn’t shake off the shackles I’d been bound by since the day I’d been born. But he finally wore me down. "
“We were together all the time after that. Unless I’d been at school or with my mom, but then he started coming to visit her with me. She loved him immediately and told me she was proud of me for living my life. She said I should grab onto happiness, even if it were only for a short time.
“My dad had been horrified when he caught Taze in my mom’s room with me. I’d been sitting on his lap while we watched movies together. My father had told me I was to stop seeing him. That was the first day I stood up to my father and gone against his wishes. After, he’d stormed out, I fought the urge to run to him and tell him I was sorry, that I would leave Taze. Luckily, my mom had talked some sense into me. She assured me I deserved to be loved and told me that if my father couldn’t see that, then I needed to let him go until he could recognize the error of his ways. Taze had been so worried I was going to leave him and go back to following my dad's rules. When my mom passed away, he’d been convinced he would never see me again. And I almost left him, Faith. My dad was the only parent I had left. I wanted to go back and make peace with him."
I wiped the tears from my cheek. I didn't say anything as Stace spoke. Afraid to interrupt her as she poured her heart out to me, but her heartache was audible.
"At my mother’s funeral, I’d been fully prepared to grovel at my dad’s feet, but then I’d seen Taze standing at the back of the church dressed in a suit. He’d been trying to blend in, but he’d shone like a light, and I was drawn to it. I chose him on that day and sat with him at the back of the church during the funeral, holding his hand, knowing my mom was proud of me and praying my dad would come around eventually. When her will had been read, I was given a letter my mom had written to me while she’d been in the hospital. Well, actually, there had been two letters. One had scolded me for not taking a chance on Taze or myself. In the other, she’d told me how proud she was that I was living my own life and taking what I deserved. After reading her letters, I decided to always go with the decision that made me happy. That was also the day I’d changed my major to nursing, and I've never looked back.”
We were both silent as I absorbed the lessons in Stace’s story. I wondered if I was strong enough to accept the happiness in my own life too.
“Faith, are you there?”
“Yeah, I'm here.”
“Then you didn’t get the moral of my story?”
I thought of Kill and how many times he’d proven his love for me. I deserved happiness, and if I didn't take it, it was my own fault.
“You're right,” I said with conviction. I cradled the phone in between my neck and ear as I reached for my crutches and called to Martha.
“Attagirl. Go get him and drive carefully.”
“I will. Talk to you soon.” After hanging up, I clumsily stuffed clothes into my backpack. When Martha walked in and saw the mess I was making, she ordered me to sit down.
“It’s about damned time. Your dad, and I were about to drag you back to Portland if you didn’t leave soon,” she said as she packed my stuff in a much tidier fashion than I’d been doing.
“Ouch, you want to get rid of me that bad?” I had a giddy, nervous smile stretched across my face. I would be in Kill’s arms soon.
“Hush now. That boy loves you, and you love him. Go be young and in love.” She yelled for my dad to come help us pack everything in the car for me.
He came in and kissed me on the cheek. “About time. Are you okay to drive? Do you want us to get you a plane ticket?”
I shook my head, anxious to get on the road. I’d already wasted enough time. “No, I'm fine. I don’t need my left leg to drive anyway. I'll be alright. Besides, there's no way I'm missing a chance to drive that beautiful car.”
He studied me with a concerned look, but when he noticed the determination on my face, he conceded. I went out to the car and watched as they loaded my belongings, yelling at me when I tried to help, so that I ended up standing there awkwardly, staring at them. I kissed them both when they finished, and promised to call when I’d arrived.
After what felt like eternity, I got on the road and raced back to Kill. I turned the music up loud and sang with wild abandon. I pushed my body, and Kill’s car, as long and hard as I could before exhausting our reserves. My body protested being in the same position for so long, and I knew I needed to call it a night.
I made it nine hours before I was forced to find a hotel room for the night. After calling my dad and Martha to let them know where I was, I took a shower with my ankle wrapped in a plastic bag. Thank goodness Martha had been smart enough to remember to pack it. I’d been so preoccupied with getting on the road, I would’ve forgotten everything important.
