Chapter 5
The next morning I woke up alone, wondering how much sleep Kill had gotten. My phone notified me of a missed call from my dad.
Smiling to myself, I called him back, chomping on a handful of Tums as it rang. His voicemail picked up. I left a message telling him I had a fabulous Fourth of July and to call me back soon.
Kill sat in his usual spot on the couch, protein shake in hand.
“Hey,” he said, extending a mugful of coffee toward me. He’d started making me a cup of coffee in the morning, just the way I liked it, ever since the first night we kissed.
We made our way outside after putting our glasses in the dishwasher. After a warm up, we went for a run, bumping into each other and smiling like fools.
Kill convinced me we needed to have taco night, after we got back. I rifled through the fridge to see what I needed to get at the store. I hadn't seen Jason since our encounter at the Mexican restaurant, and the thought of tacos had my stomach pitching around. My mind flashed back to that day, when he’d told me he was going out of town, but the continuous stream of hateful notes showing up on my car proved he still lingered.
After we showered, Kill went with me to the store. He wouldn't admit it, but ever since my run-in with Jason the boys had been on high alert. They always had one excuse or another to come with me. At the store, Kill enclosed me with his arm at the front of the cart and pushed me around, causing my guilt at keeping the notes from him to expand.
While the boys finished their practice, I went to the kitchen to start cooking. Jessie came in as I pulled everything out. Her supermodel body now perched on the counter.
She watched me with a concerned face as she twirled her long blond hair around her finger. My heart dropped, and I desperately wished I could get a handful of Tums into my stomach. I could sense a lecture milling around inside her head.
“What?” I squeaked out, walking to the fridge for a bottle of water.
“Nothing. I was just wondering what's happening between you and Kill? I haven’t had much time with you lately.”
I glanced at the garage door and shrugged. I knew this was going to happen eventually, but I still didn’t have an answer. “I don’t know, Jess.”
“Well, tell me so I can figure it out for you,” she replied in an authoritative tone.
“I want to, but I don’t think I have time to tell you everything.” I eyed the garage door again.
“Fine, but we need to have a girls talk soon.” She watched me throughout dinner, and I was sure she was cataloging every touch or gesture Kill and I made toward each other. My nerves were frayed by the time we finished cleaning up.
I excused myself quickly and ran upstairs. In my room, I was trying to figure out which pair of shoes to wear when Kill strolled in and wrapped me in his arms from behind. I leaned into him and sighed. Since I was no longer under the watchful eye of Jessie, I melted into his strength.
“What was up with you at dinner?” he asked, kissing my neck before settling his chin on the top of my head.
“Jessie wants to know what's up between us. I avoided telling her, but I know I can't put her off very much longer.”
“Let me know when you tell her. I don’t want D to find out from anyone else but me. I need to reassure him this won't mess with the family dynamic or the band.” He kissed the top of my head. "Faith, you know I would’ve told everyone by now if you’d let me. You asked me to take it slow with you, but I need to tell you this sucks."
He turned me around so that we faced each other. I looked down at the ground, but he refused to let me evade him and placed his finger under my chin, lifting my head until our eyes met. “What is it, Slick?”
The uncertainty in his voice surprised me. I had a fleeting thought that maybe he was just as vulnerable as I was.
“I'm scared.”
He pressed his forehead against mine. “I am too.”
I closed my eyes, letting his words pierce my soul.
“I need you to trust me.” His pleading tone caused my heart to pick up speed.
This was the one thing I had to deny him, but I could at least pretend. I nodded my head and moved in further until our lips were barely touching, relishing the moment.
I reluctantly stepped away from him, so I could finish getting ready for work. Jessie had already left when I made my way downstairs. Van pouted on the couch, confirming she’d finally broken down and talked to her parents.
Van was lost in thought, looking so sad. I went over and kissed him on the cheek. My best friend was really pissing me off, and I was strongly considering breaking my promise to her about staying out of her business. Van hugged me close, and I didn’t stop him, figuring he needed the support. When he released me, his face looked less forlorn, and I winked at him before I walked out to my car.
"Love you, sis," he called out as I closed the door.
