I swallowed loudly. The look on his face was wreaking all sorts of havoc on my nerves. Kill sat across from me and started to eat. I tried—and failed—at not looking at him. When he caught me, he shot me his half smile, he totally knew what he was doing to me.
When the remnants of lunch were put away, D asked Kill about a new song they were working on, successfully removing Kill's attention for a moment.
We walked down the trail, reaching the Highlander faster than the walk up, because I didn’t stop and point out everything that caught my eye. Kill and D continued to talk, Kill's arm still around my shoulder—my only consolation for having to share Kill's attention.
They both asked for my opinion, making sure I didn’t feel excluded, but I had a hard time keeping up with the topic. My brain kept drifting off to what would have happened if D hadn’t tagged along.
The drive back was quiet. Every so often, Kill would point out some part of a song playing on the radio, explaining that he wanted the JackholeS to do something similar. When we got home, I excused myself so I could take a shower before practice.
Kill watched me walk away, and I could feel his eyes boring into me. The lust-filled stare he shot me when I said I was going to shower silently told me he wanted to follow. In the shower, I took my time, shaving my legs and everything else in preparation for later.
A thrill went through me, thinking of what Kill had in mind for later that night. I took extra time with my makeup and hair, spraying it with extra hairspray so it would stay through work and hopefully look good for my extra-curricular activities.
It was Sunday, and I was ecstatic to have the next two days off, which hopefully Kill and I could spend making up for lost time.
Practice went well, and I was sure a lot of it had to do with the burning intensity Kill and I were exuding when we looked at each other. I tried to bank my lust for him in front of the others, but when he sang, I couldn’t help but come undone from the sound of his voice.
When I was finally dismissed with a pat on the back from D, Jet told me I was so sexy, he’d moved me up in rank in his spank bank. I shook off that image and glanced over at Amy. She looked at me in awhat do you want me to do about it? kind of way.
While cooking dinner, I lost my concentration more times than I wanted to admit, grateful there wasn’t anyone to observe my mistakes. When I put the finishing touches on dinner, remarkably uninjured, I covered it, knowing the boys would be done soon.
I ran upstairs to check my hair and makeup making sure it didn’t fall or melt off. My phone rang as I made my way out of the bathroom. I slowly walked over to it, begging with the universe I wouldn’t seePrivateon the screen. When I saw my dad’s number and the picture I’d taken of him the last time I saw him, my breathing evened out.
“Hey, handsome,” I answered the phone, cringing when I heard my annoyingly-cheerful voice.
“Hey, baby girl, you sound happy,” he replied, and I blushed, knowing Kill and his soon-to-be naked body was the reason.
“Just happy to hear your voice. How is everything? Anything new and exciting?” I asked. I’d been neglecting my dad since Kill and I had started getting more serious.
“Nothing new and exciting to report. Martha's starting a garden in the backyard, which means I’ve been starting a garden while she supervises,” he said, laughing at his own joke.
“It’s good for you,” I said. Wanting him to know where my loyalties lay, I added, “Don’t let her work you too hard.”
He laughed, and I could picture him grinning while he sat in his favorite blue recliner in front of the TV. “She’s not. I just like to give her a hard time. How’s my boy doing? Is he working hard?”
My stomach dropped at the mention of Jason. The boulder started completing a gymnastics routine, making me reach for my bottle of Tums. I popped some in my mouth and chewed them quietly while trying to decide how to proceed with the Jason conversation.
I didn’t want him to worry about me and telling him about my split with Jason would make him do just that. I also didn't want to explain how I was now living with a rock band consisting solely of boys.
Gazing up at the ceiling, I cringed when I answered, “Jason's good. He's working a lot and traveling, trying to land new clients.”
Bile rushed up my throat coating it, and I welcomed the pain. I felt awful for lying to my dad.
“He's trying to get ahead so you guys can have a good life together. I'm so glad you found someone who takes care of you so well.”
Tears stung my eyes as I choked on the words my dad unknowingly forced from my throat. “Yep, he's doing a good job.” My voice sounding shrill to my ears, but my dad hadn’t picked up on the change in tone. "Hey, Dad, I need to go get ready for work. I'll call you later, okay?” I said weakly, wanting to get off the phone before I had to spew out more lies.
I hated lying to my dad. All of a sudden, it seemed like it was all I’d been doing. Every lie I’d ever told him revolved around Jason somehow, and I hated him even more for making me betray my dad.
“Alright, I'll talk to you later. Call me on your next day off.”
“Okay, Dad, I will. I love you,” I said, pulling my legs up to my chest and resting my chin on my knees.
“Love you too. Talk to you soon.”
I hung up and stared at the wall, letting the phone fall out of my hand and drop to the bed. My door slammed shut, scaring the hell out of me. Kill stood in my room, his face bright red with anger.
I didn’t have to ask if he’d overheard my conversation; it was obvious he’d heard everything. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, my heart banging around inside my chest.
