“Where’s Van?” I asked.
“Jessie's. You ready to go? I called you, but you didn’t answer. I thought you would be home sooner.”
I vaguely remembered my phone ringing while I had been talking to Trent. Not wanting to explain my run-in with him, I lied. "The parking was awful. I had to park pretty far away. I didn't hear my phone ring." Guilt gnawed at me when he nodded his head, believing me.
“Let’s go.”
I followed him out to the yard to stretch. We started off at a light jog, and I kept waiting for him to smack me on the ass to speed up the pace, but it never came.
“I missed you,” he said, still keeping our stride light. His face was screwed up with tension.
“I missed you too,” I replied truthfully.
“I think we should stay friends, Slick,” he burst out unexpectedly.
It took a moment for my brain to register his meaning. When it did, I stumbled, catching myself before I went down. He stopped jogging, and we stood in the middle of the street looking at each other.
“What?”
“I think we should just be friends, Slick. I can’t do what we were doing before.”
I shook my head at him. “I can’t,” I replied.
His face paled, and he reached out to grab my shoulders, like he was afraid I might run away.
“It hurt me to see you with all of those ska... girls. I know you weren't doing anything with them, but seeing them hang all over you was too much. I can’t be friends with you if that's the lifestyle you want to lead. I'm not telling you to change who you are, just that I can’t be around to watch it.”
He closed his eyes, and his hand twitched on my arm-one of his tells-meaning he wanted to run his fingers through his hair, but he didn’t want to let me go.
“The day of our fight, I went and talked to Catcher. I told him not to let me do anything stupid. To let me flirt, but not to take it any farther. I didn't want to go back to my old ways. You hurt me, and I wanted to get back at you, but I didn't want to ruin us. I never gave up on us. I was hoping you just needed a push to see what you were losing.” He finally let me go so he could run his fingers through his hair and rub the back of his neck. I stood there, waiting for him to continue as my heart leapt into my throat, restricting any words from passing.
“You want to know the funny thing? He never had to stop me. At no point was I tempted.”
I wanted to do a happy dance in the middle of the street. I should be upset that he’d tried to push me back to him in an underhanded way, but all I could think about was the fact he had never been tempted.
“I just need you to understand I'm not playing games with you, but until you decide to be upfront about our relationship, I won’t be anything to you except a friend. I won't hide from everyone. You need to believe in us and tell anyone who says you’re making a mistake to fuck off. I won't be your dirty little secret.”
My internal happy dance stopped. My heart dropped down to my feet, and since it was no longer blocking my throat, I could finally speak. “What do you want me to do?” I asked. My voice was low. I hated how weak I sounded, but there was nothing I could do about it.
“I don’t know, Slick. Show me you can handle it," he said shaking his head.
I nodded, my mind whirling a million miles a minute. I wondered if I should try and get him to let me into his heart and become something more, or if I should stay in the friend zone where it would be safer for my heart when he left.
“All right, friend. Let’s get home before D has our heads.” My fake smile burned in its spot on my face.
I turned to start toward the house, but Kill held me in place, looking into my face. I waited for him to say something, but he just stared at me with disappointment in his eyes. I opened mine wide, trying to shake him out of whatever trance he’d fallen into. It must have worked, because he gave me his famous half smile and smacked me on the ass before he took off running.
When I climbed out of the shower and walked into my room, I found Jessie and Amy lounging on my bed.
“What’s up?” I asked, letting my towel fall to the ground so I could get dressed as Amy and Jessie answered excitedly.
“We wanted to know how your first day of school went,” Jessie said.
Amy added, “We also wanted to see if you wanted to celebrate making it through your first day back?”
I pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and my favorite Halestorm tank.
“I have to practice with the boys and make dinner, but I would love to go out and celebrate. What did you have in mind?” I asked taking the towel to dry my hair.
