Chapter 14
He reached me before I could open the garage door, and smacked me on the ass while opening the door for me. He entered the garage with a satisfied look on his face.
“About time,” D grumbled. He looked us up and down as if he was trying to figure out how far we’d gone in the short time we’d been away.
Van was behind his drums, shaking his head at D.
“I never took you for a minute man. Poor Faith. If you need me, I'll sacrifice myself to help you out,” Jet said with a smile.
Blood rushed to my face. I walked over to the microphone and adjusted it to the right height.
“Shut up, Jet,” Kill snapped, coming over to help me fix the mic stand.
“I’m just saying...”
“Jet, behave,” Amy commanded from her spot on her chair, blowing me a kiss after her reprimand.
I was astounded when Jet actually listened to her. Jessie came into the garage and sat down, giving me a pointed stare. Jessie and Amy began whispering back and forth, shooting me curious looks. Amy had ratted me out.
During practice, Kill kept touching me, pulling me to him by the waist as we sang. I felt like a giggly teenager. Jessie kept trying to get my attention, but I did a good job avoiding her, not wanting my good mood to be crushed.
“Alright, we're done with you, Faith,” D spit out after I sang the last song. "I don’t want you to be late for school."
I glanced over at D, stunned by the anger in his voice. He glared at Kill, not focusing on me. Kill tightened his grip on my waist. I patted his shoulder, wanting to defuse the tension in the room. Kill tore his eyes off of D and smiled down at me. “We don’t want you to be late for school, Slick.” Kill mimicked.
As I backed out of Kill’s hold, he pulled me to him and slammed his mouth down on mine. I melted into him, immediately forgetting everyone around us...until I heard Jet announcing he was next, bursting our bubble. A clatter echoed behind us as our lips parted.
My face flamed red, and I hoped I could get a handle on my blushing soon. Kill wore a huge smile on his face, matching my own. The garage door slammed shut, making me jump at the sound. D’s bass was on the ground, explaining the loud sounds of departure.
Jet and Van stared at us, each of them wearing different expressions. Jet smiled widely while Van's face seemed to be exuding sadness.
“I’ll go talk to him,” Kill said as he started toward the garage door.
“Maybe I should talk to him,” Van said moving out from behind his drums.
“No, this needs to happen. Obviously, our discussion on the Fourth of July and after Faith's birthday wasn't enough,” Kill replied, giving Van a stern look.
Jessie ran up beside me and latched onto my hand, pulling me toward the door Kill just walked through. “We need to talk.”
I searched for help from the band. Van shrugged while Jet and Amy reenacted my kiss with Kill, rendering every one of them useless. Stuck, I let Jessie steer me to my room. It wasn't a worthless trip. I needed to get my stuff for school anyway, and I was going to use that excuse to get out of this talk as quickly as possible.
“Speak,” she ordered after she closed the door. Her hands flew to her rail-thin hips. Her eyes were locked on me as if she could read my thoughts.
I avoided eye contact by going to my closet to change my shirt. When I lifted it, the smell of Kill wafted up my nose, and decided I wasn't going to change after all.
“Faith, what the heck?”
A deep exhale flowed past my lips, and I turned to face her. “I couldn't fight it any longer,” I said, checking the clock on my phone. Ten minutes before I had to leave. I could do it. “I stayed with Jason for so long, and I was miserable. Staying away from Kill was even worse. Before you start, yes, I know we aren’t going to last.”
Her eyebrows rose, but I continued. I needed to purge this from my system before it started to fester.
“Yes, he's going to leave when the band gets discovered. I understand what I'm getting into. It's going to hurt like hell when it's over. I know I won't be able to deal with all the groupie whores when they go on tour, but I want these memories. I don’t want to be scared of life anymore.”
Hot tears burned my eyes. I swept them away quickly with my arm before they could fall. Jessie wrapped her arms around me, and I let her, accepting her comfort for a minute. Guilt, raw and prickly, skittered through my cells as I allowed Jessie to console me. She had been through so much. The demons she battled daily had a stronger hold than anything I’d been through, but still I let her soothe me.
“I'll be there for you whenever you need me. All I want is for you to be happy.”
I dragged my body away from her, feeling like an imposter. “I'm not strong. I haven’t been through a fraction of the horror you've faced. Most of my demons reside because of what I allowed to happen to me. You had no control over the horrible things in your life. I'm weak, and I’ve accepted it. I don’t deserve the time I have with Kill, but I'm going to take it.”
