CHAPTER 23
The week went by even faster than I thought possible. I woke up on New Year’s Eve wanting to sob and violently scream at the same time. The past week had focused on packing the boys and Amy up to go.
Jessie was landing early in the morning so she could see Van before he left. Kill repeatedly broke my heart every time he asked me if I was sure I couldn’t go with him. It took all my willpower not to give in and pack up my stuff.
My dad and Martha called in the morning to wish Kill and the boys good luck, my dad telling Kill he couldn’t wait to brag to their friends about their famous rockstar boys. We planned on spending time at the house, and issued an invitation to anyone who wanted to come over to wish the boys good luck. I made enchiladas and tacos, along with a ton of appetizers, wanting to send them off right.
Kill and I seemed unable to keep away from each other. Our lips were constantly connected. Our hands roaming over one another, memorizing every detail.
While I was in the kitchen making sure I had enough salsa and chips for the party, Van arrived with Jessie in tow.
I abandoned the chips and gave her a big hug. “I missed you so much. How are your parents? How was your trip?” I asked in one breath.
“Go catch up. I have some stuff to do,” Van told her, kissing Jessie before running upstairs.
Jessie gave his retreating back a pained look before following me into the kitchen. She sat down at the kitchen table and stared down dejectedly at the grainy wood.
Kill walked in before I could pull Jessie out of her thoughts. "Hey, Slick. Do you need me to make a store run?" His eyes landed on Jessie's form.
I shook my head and blew him a kiss. He winked at me before walking out of the kitchen silently.
I took her clammy hand in mine. “Hey, Jess. What's going on?” It was a stupid question, but I was at a loss for words.
“My parents introduced me to someone while I was in Texas,” she answered as big tears rolled heartbreakingly down her cheeks.
“Come on; let’s go talk,” I said. My stomach knotted as we walked quietly to my room, and I locked the door, hoping to ensure our privacy.
“Okay, tell me everything.” I had to force the words out of my mouth. What I really wanted to do was stuff my fingers in my ear and scream at the top of my lungs.
“My parents met Michael at their bar during a bachelor party. He was the designated driver, so he wasn’t drinking and ended up talking to my parents. He told them he was studying to be a doctor and nearly done with his internship. My parents were thrilled at how stable he seemed. Michael is completely removed from any band affiliation, making him perfect in their eyes. He started coming by once a week to have dinner with my family. You should have seen my mom. She was ready to toss my dad aside to get her chance at him,” Jessie said, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“He saw a picture of me on the mantle and asked my parents about me. They told him about my sister, and some of my own story and, according to my mother, he fell instantly in love with me. When I got to the bar after my flight, he was waiting for me. Faith, he is so different from Van. I don't know why, but I found myself revealing my life’s story to him,” she confessed.
“What the hell, Jessie?”
She continued to stare at the ground as my anger surfaced.
“You know, if you tell Van about your past, he would accept you. I understand why you have this unhealthy urge to push him away, but I don't understand how you can tell a complete stranger about your past, just because your parents decided to hook you up with him.” I shouldn’t have been upset. It was her life, and her decision. But I loved Van like a brother, I couldn't stand to see how much she was hurting him for no reason other than fear.
“I know, Faith. I feel awful,” she said, crying again.
“Do you love him?” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t hear what I thought I was about to.
“Michael?”
“Yes, Michael,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
“I don’t know. I don’t feel the same pull to him I feel toward Van. The moment I saw Van, I was in love with him, but the fear that he would hurt me twisted my love for him into something I can’t describe. Michael's different. He's safe and stable. I know where he's going, and that he wants me to be by his side.”
“You just met him. How can you know that?” I got up and started pacing the floor, sick to my stomach.
“I just do,” she whispered.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I have one more semester of school just like you. My roommate's moving out, so I’ll have a lot of time to decide.”
“So you're just going to lead them both on? Until you're sure Van doesn’t cheat on you while he's gone,” I ground out.
